Its a wee bit late to mention this now but Huttonian strongly advises against Golf on the NO 2 Course at the Royal County Down (PBUI) on Good Friday at about 10 am. Actually I was out very early and beat Snake Killer, Trolley Follower and Beautiful Dreamer to the first tee. Indeed no sign of them at any point so I assume that they were more aware than I was of the perils of Good Friday Golf (at 10am) I was finishing my usual short round-13 holes (yes I played well thanks for asking and who wouldn't on a beautiful Spring day with a lightish breeze) Anyhow as I was playing the last two holes I became aware that my earlier solitude was now evaporating as the fairways became alive with the sound of hackers. The Invasion of the Body snatchers had nothing on this. The predominant species seemed to be Pater Familiasses with young. I am dekighted that the coming generation, 12 and under are taking to the Royal and Ancient game in such large numbers but why on Good Friday at 10 am? I was contemplating a simple second shot to the 18th having hit my drive to position one-a short wedge to go. I was actually at the top of my back swing when I was aware of impending doom.A ball out of nowhere entered my peripheral vision causing me to duck, whistled past my head and disappeared into heavy rough to my rear left. It was followed by Pater Familias Number One with four breathless little boys in tow. He glared at me and said 'Did you see my ball? ' I replied that I had seen it on its way past and had felt its wind' 'Yes, Yes' impatiently, 'Where did it finish' Hint of apology? No. 'Sorry' I said I was too busy following the flight of my own ball' (Memo to Pro: ducking your head during a pitch shot can have miraculous results-I must do it more often-I got my three!) Paterfamilias stormed off in the general direction of his badly miscued ball shouting to his young charges '****ing Comedian' I have been called worse.
I was just holing out when P F number two came off the first tee with 6 little girls. Four carried little bags of clubs and two buckets and spades-these heading for some of the bunkers-sand traps for which this course is renowned. The two PFs then fell into a furious argument as PF Two wanted to go past PF One-reasonably enough as the latter was still trying to locate his errant ball. In the meanwhile a huge queue of wantabee hackers were building up on the first tee reluctant to hit whilst all reachable parts of the course were swarming with Little People.
I left them to it. It was 10.10. I suspect there will be much blood on the greens and in the sand before Good Friday ends on the Annesley Course. The only winner will be Stalker and his Alsatian who I saw setting out in eager anticipation of a very profitable day.
