Circumstances obliged me to make an unscheduled and unwanted visit to Safeway’s /Morrison’s this morning. If you have to go, go early before stage 1 of the caravaners arrive. Stage One is the Walking Dead. This category consists of those who were very heavily hung over the previously evening and walk around In a
post mortem comatose condition, leaning heavily on trolleys and smoking as furiously as a crematorium. Stage Two is the Walking Wounded. They are also hung over and in addition injured from last night’s brawls. Looking for revenge on the uncaring world they are aggressive and dangerous.
Do not approach. Do not challenge at the 9 items check out. Avoid eye contact. And you will live.
The trouble about an early start was Mr Fish’s Haar. I could see the end of the bonnet but not much more.. But if evidence is needed that God is an Englishman it was provided by the sun bursting out in all its glory the moment I crossed the border and felt rather foolish taking off two fleeces in the S&M car park. Incidentally the Morrison approach to customer satisfaction is demonstrated by their policy of allowing, suggesting/ forcing at gun point the staff to park their (many) vehicles in the best slots-I did not know before how many employees are mothers with toddlers and/or disabled.
Shopping itself was a breeze-5 items and had a choice of all the check outs (that were personned) Back to Hutton and you can easily guess what happened when I crossed the border into Scotland. I could here Mr Fish whispering ‘Haar Haar’ all the rest of the way home.
