The point of the Reli Rally was to take part in a ceremony welcoming the younger granddaughter to the wider family with due pomp and some circumstance. Poems were read and for the higher brows (5'7" and above) an unmasqued classical dialogue was performed. In this instance Huttonian was cast as a 5th Century BC Greek Politician.
Socratean Dialogue
SOCRATES: Greetings Huttonian. Do you bring news from Zeus? If so how does it apply to the candidate for Mount Olympus: Katy Beth? Or are you still over preoccupied with the Hutton Village Hall?
Huttonian: I'm glad you've asked me this question.This country has a long and proud tradition of embracing those from other cultures. There is no doubt in my mind that these people have contributed considerably to the culture of Mount Olympus for hundreds of years. However, the influx of applicants from less fortunate areas into the Mount has caused concern among its citizens for some time now, and the old system of patronage from selected Gods is unsustainable. So it is with this in mind that we are to turn Hutton Village Hall into a processing centre for those applying for asylum on Mount Olympus
SOCRATES: Should we not set her similar tasks to the Infant Hercules? Augean Stables clean up being particularly appropriate to a female child with a non domesticated Male parent. Zeus, as a Green God, I know is neurotically insistent on the use of biodegradable cleansing materials.
Huttonian: It's true that there has been some criticism from the far left about the hurdles being placed in the way of Olympian citizenship, and these being compared to the tasks of Hercules, but this is simply hysteria. These hurdles are quite necessary, because only the most agile of applicants would be able to travel in a city built for the Gods themselves. Naturally, the agility required to traverse hurdles is roughly equivalent to that required to walk down Mount Olympus' many streets.
SOCRATES: The Male parent is unnaturally obsessed with mammals. As I once said (450bc) ‘How many things I can do without’? How can the infant here present do without such unhealthy pursuits?
Huttonian: Should her application to Mount Olympus be successful, and should she befriend one of the lesser Gods, I'm quite sure he could entertain her for hours on end, by taking on the forms of her favourite animals. You should remember that Mount Olympus offers unrivalled views across the entire world, and as such, should she share her fathers interests, she will be ideally placed to do so. So I would argue that there is no need for her to avoid her fathers passion.
SOCRATES: I also said (432 BC)’ I know nothing except the fact of my own ignorance’. That is before I met you. Oh Huttonian. Zeus knows that there must be final words of wisdom to be passed on to this young clinging and to her big brother Mr P. Speak on and then shut up.
Huttonian: I would urge both of them to try out the new system of voting, an initiative from my party which was completely unprecedented. It's just one of a number of policies which they should feel the benefit of, under Olympian rule, and of which we are justifiably proud. We're considering having some sort of sports-day to celibate, with athletes from around the world competing against each other. The top prize is citizenship of Mount Olympus itself. Second prize is ten packets of organic feta cheese.
SOCRATES: Thank you Wise Huttonian. Katy Beth hark well to our words, practice them until perfection and always use the 9 items or less checkout at the Mount Olympus Safeway’s. And have a good day.
The allusions to the village hall are purely classical and should be seen in that sense. Some of the original Greek nuance has been lost in translation.
