The Today Programme carried an item about rural post offices doubling as police stations. With Post Mistresses (or Masters) being the first port of call for crime reports and even issuing gun licences with the second class stamps. Apparently this has happened in Scotland. Not in these parts it hasn't but it is an idea whose time may have come for Hutton. The snag being of course that crime would need to be confined to Mondays and Thursdays during opening hours (9-12-30) Also there is very little in the way of misdoings going on around here but the very presence of a part time nick might, just, attract the right kind of criminal and perhaps ease the pressure on Sheriff Kevin of Duns. Perhaps the Post Mistress could be issued with a smart Special Constable's uniform and be able to occasionally patrol the streets as a friendly police presence-always a reassuring sight to timid citizens.
The out housed poet in residence puts it:
"You're nicked"
said
the Post Mistress
securing the
pensioner's frail wrists
with
Cellotape.
