A German friend on a visit to Norn Iron tells us that there is a campaign in Germany and elsewhere in the EU to ban men passing water in the standing position. It is not such much a feminist issue of bringing males down to a female's level as it were but more an indication of a reluctance by the fair sex to clean up the early am dribble around the loo seat where the overnight aiming mechanisms have malfunctioned. Apparently you can now acquire pre programmed toilet seats which when lifted say in a stern female 'Madame Correction' voice :' Put me down and sit on me. Now!' in all the working languages of the EU. A TV campaign is backed with a free tee shirt carrying the slogan' Real Men do it Sitting Down' And there is even a bill going through the European Parliament provisionally titled: 'EURONATE-A Pee for Europe' making it obligatory to wee sitting down even in the privavcy of your own homes. This will be a real nuisance in the Borders-the Sheriff'sCourt in Duns will be flooded with cases and half the toilets in the Merse will be cordonned off as crime scenes.
Research by the Hutton Think Tank reveals tells that the Irish invented the loo seat and 500 years later the English put a hole in it. They needn't have bothered.
