The Belfast Bloggee is back in action again. I am slightly diffident about publishing his latest offering as I know this rant is probably monitored by the Animal Liberation Front since I started writing about mice. But the BB is quite likely to be a target for massive cruelty to little dogs as my kind, indeed loving, approach to little vermin is in marked contrast to his Rumsfeld like naked aggression. I am not sure what he has against the wee puppy. If it had its way with Clio it might do wonders for the breed. If Clio can't stand up for herself is she worth protecting......Anyhow here goes:
I
have just taken delivery of a Spider-Man High Powered Water Cannon from Toys r Us. It is a splendid piece of engineering that can blast a jet of water over 30ft. This is ample range from my office window to our gate where an uninvited guest tends to linger just a bit too long and expectant. The guest is a fluffy, arrogant little mutt that has recently taken up residence a few doors down. He fancies his chances with Klio, the moose sized dog that lives here, but barely reaches up to her ankles in height.
Previous suitors have been met with a barrage of potatoes, the larger ones cut into quarters, but this little creep doesn’t know the drill. The PPW disapproved of the potato artillery, and less so of the onions that followed. The latter give a quite spectacular effect if the trajectory, speed and tarmac combine in the correct manner. This line of defence had to end when a friendly neighbour’s car became an innocent victim of an errant spud.
From my window I can spot the randy rat approaching and can prime the cannon in good time for his arrival at the gate. For such a little beast, it is quite amazing the height that he can achieve from a standing start when the icy blast meets him square on.
Yet, he is a lusty mutt and hasn’t been put off at all. An internet search has provided a means to acquire some bromide. I hope that the PPW doesn’t find it first."
Oh go on BB get it some Viagra. Has anyone consulted Clio.
