The Community Council spent more time than usual on Dog Fouling this evening-rather more than going through the motions as it were. It is becoming a big problem in Paxton-not so much in Hutton where we have a classier type of dog, naturally. One solution was suggested by our Borders Counsellor, Big Jim Conundrum F. Apparently the thing to do is to coat (he actually said sprinkle) errant dog pooh with peanut butter. It will then be gobbled up by the next passing canine. It will return home and be enthusiastically ill at both ends. Its owner will then go looking for the owner of the dog which passed the peanut butter flavoured turd and thus informal community policing will be launched-dog eating dog in a manner of speaking. This approach has worked well in the US and could take off here. You can get special peanut butter spreading devices which avoid the need to handle the dooings personally. Another thought was the appointment of a local dog control officer under the auspices of the Community Council. Some one broke into the Harry Lime theme during this discussion and there were the usual inappropriate puns about 'The Turd Man' but no volunteers for the job-reminiscent of the old ad 'Lady with small dog seeks post'
