You never can tell if it is a bank holiday in Hutton-no bank for a start but it is the absence of people out and about. The only time you can be sure of seeing people is when the 3 0 Clock Club assembles at the school gates to pick up the children and even then we are talking about three or four parents at the best of times. But that does not help with determining the existence of a bank holiday or otherwise as they are ignored by the schools
Newcastle, Norn Iron is different. Bank Holiday weekends are quite like ordinary weekends but worse. The town heaves. Pavements crammed with people going nowhere in particular and doing so very slowly. Mauds is crammed. Shops selling useless tack called names like " Heaven" are packed with bored folk buying things they would not look twice at in Belfast and at twice the price. The rest are in the Arcades playing the slot machines. No parking left by 10 am. Those who have been lucky remain in their vehicles reading newspapers brought from Belfast-unlucky ones drive round and round the one way system until in despair they return to Belfast, buy more papers in the hope they can find a nice busy spot to read them in. These are the day trippers-even with a long weekend this category accounts for 50% of the visitors. 3% in B and Bs and 47% in caravans. This last lot treble the town's population from May until September-quadrupling it in the season-July and August. Only in the season do the two swimming pools open-the (slightly warmed) Topicano and the (massively cooled) Sea Baths. Otherwise it is the beach where the odd surfer wearing at least two dry suits venture in to the freezing waters of Dundrum bay.
The golfers and the walkers are rarely seen. To them Newcastle is either an inconvenience to bypass or a convenience for a takeaway-oh yes the 'Conveniences' are also closed out of season so its leg crossed for several months until you can find a gorse bush in Donard Park.
So how do you tell a bank holiday weekend? The town is even fuller than normal. And, er, the Banks are closed. But its Sunday stupid. Ah, the ATMs are all empty.
Huttonian is ok. He lives at the quiet end of town beyond the Monte Carlo rally which is the one way system. A convenience shop, a functioning convenience but out of range of the normal tripper especially with legs crossed, two tired pubs, a down market and deserted hotel, an empty (but wonderful) restuarant and a peaceful harbour. And no parked cars-the view is too distracting and too nice for the average serious reader. And you can't tell if it is a Bank Holiday either. And you don't really mind!
