What happens if you are surfing in the US and put into Google 'Norn Iron Aquarium' or in OZ and insert 'Hutton Church Berwickshire' or nearer to home ' Morrison's Opening Hours Tamworth' Yes, you get directed to Musings-various parts of the archive and varying standards of erudition. What you won't get are the opening hours of Morrison's in Tamworth. Better use the phone whoever you are and unlikely to get a response from a live person at 3am unless the Morrison's call centre is in Mumbai or Perth, Australia.
With the wife in Franco parts Huttonian is once again forced to do penitence in Sir Morrison's. Nearer than Tamworth but as stressful. At least now the caravanners have followed the swallows south it is less crowded and the company in the aisles less belligerent and considerably slimmer and mainly minus tattoos. I fear that my criticism of this store has rubbed it up the wrong way as I have just suffered from what can only be described as Morrison's revenge: I am spared the Curse of the Dummies now that little Katy B is safely out of our universe in a parallel Parisian one. Unusually I had run out of milk -this under the previous regime so I am blameless in that regard. Reluctantly I bought a pint (?half a litre or so) of semi skimmed Morrison's own brand from their concentrated camp herd. The milk man being late on his bill collecting run I was forced to open the packet early this morning. Having with some difficulty unscrewed the cap I was confronted with a piece of tartaned paper which said 'Pull' It was unclear as the strip was in the middle of the cardboard/synthetic protective cover which way to 'pull' . I tried one way and then t'other -these northern folk must have strong fingers-but to no avail. I was not to be defeated by this Mancunian grocery boss, so I took my strongest pair of plyers, made on the right side of the Pennines and 'pulled' Well after I had changed my trousers and mopped the floor the milkman mercifully appeared with proper milk in proper bottles from the lovingly tended free range Coop cows. Talk about Mafeking.
