A newish tradition-well ten years-is the politically aware Christmas Cake which is now a family institution and more durable than Scrub A Fairy, consequences, this is a ding but not of course the Queens Speech-that essential barrier to the premature opening of christmas presents. The PACC involves the middle 'IT' nephew in reluctant exile from Ould Reekie decorating the Christmas Cake in keeping with one of the burning issues of the hour: Racism, Terrorism, Millenium Bug or whatever else is attracting the fitful attention of Morningside Thinkers and the Medja. This year,Huttonian can reveal, is Gay Weddings- an issue not on everyone's list of priorities in the Merse although in East Kilbride, I am told, they talk of little else. Images will follow and in the mean while the topic may give a new lease of life to Scrub a Fairy.

But first words:
You are invited to Killin’s first gay wedding

In a clearing in the forest, The Love Which Dare Not Speak Its Name is finally shouting out loud. Once, innocent lesbians would be forced into the forest to whisper proclamations of love to each other in private. But in 2005, for the first time, they can become Ms. and Ms. together, without shame. Without threats of legal action. And with the minimum of religious picketing.
On the left (the fem side), you can see a woman excitedly using her mobile to give a running commentary on the service (“no, it’s rubbish…”). In the second row, an aging female biker gently revs her moped along with the singing (“It’s Raining Women” by The Weathergirls). Beside her, one of the token gay men throws open his arms in welcome at the coming gay dawn. His white jeans and carnation proclaim his homosexuality like a pink explosion. But behind him, an innocent little girl watches the service with interest. Who can say what is going on in her tiny, warped mind?
The service is conducted by Mary Christmas herself. Mary, of course, is the Lesbian, Bisexual and Gay Santa, and was canonised by the Catholic Church in 1993. Her ferocious stare is often used to frighten children who are curious about homosexuality.
On the right (the butch side), you can see the two ex-partners of the bride. Should either of the brides drop out, they will surely step into the breach. Behind them, men in the traditional costume of the homosexual, the Stetson, the dungarees and the pink top, are preparing for the traditional line dance, which marks the ceremonies conclusion.


  ¶ 5:38 PM