With the BBC Weather section
on early Christmas holes Huttonian risked some golf at Duns this morning. This far North my usual early start is difficult and for once I got my timing wrong. As I drove into the carpark (8-35am) I noticed a couple on the first tee in matching winter outfits about to hit off. My plan was to play the First hole and then cut across to the 11th to play 8 holes in without fear of meeting anyone else. But when I reached the tee the couple -mid fifties and that probably went for their handicaps as well -were still contemplating which club to initiate the proceedings and were looking for the most elderly balls in their collection so as not to have to suffer mentally if they got lost. I though for a moment that they might offer to let me through-a vain hope-a glance and firmly turned backs. They then started their count down before launching their shuttles down the first fairway. After watching two air shots and a three sods of earth overtaking a barely moving ball moving gently towards the end of the tee-I gave up and set up the 18th fairway in reverse to get to the 11th Green. Wrong move-the couple thinking I was trying to cut in front of them to the first green were galvanised into precipitate action. Putting their self propelled golf trolleys into top gear and full speed they allowed themselves to be propelled up the first fairway holding on to their trolleys for dear life. So great was their determination to get there before the interloper they abandoned both balls obviously intending to make a fresh start on the second once they had seen Huttonian off.
If a trolley hadn't overturned on a mole hill I might not have won the race so comfortably-the roars of rage and expletives from the distaff golfer betrayed an expensive education but I think the wheel was fairly easily replaced -not sure about the battery which fell out and she seemed to have some trouble getting her contraption going again under its own power. The gent kept on clutching his chest-looking for soothing ciggiesI expect. By this time they realised that I was not trying to get to the first green before them but going elsewhere so for them the crisis was over.
Wwith the anticipation of a peaceful unhampered 8 holes in front of me I headed to the 11th tee. Alas. It was more than occupied by the 'Cardiac 4 ball' as I have heard them called by younger members. They must have started well before light. No way past them! Abort Abort
Oh well It was quite a nice walk on a pleasant wintry day and the bacon buttie in the club house was some consolation.