Following the allegations that the British Embassy in Moscow have been engaged in the great game of espionage on our former Cold War opponents Fishwick Special Branch are likely to face similar embarrassment here. A leak (this time not on Paxton House notepaper) has revealed that FSB have for some years been using a camera concealed in an artificial rock as a covert spying device in the hope of monitoring the activities of any passing Al Qaeda agents. Unfortunately the results have not been dramatic as the FSB technician, putting the device into position had failed to notice the warning on the box:' Batteries not included' Thus it was not functioning for the first two years of the operation -this failure was initially put down to the absence of passing targets-The Merse not thought to be a high priority for Al Q operations-but you never know-the Price of Freedom being a constant supply of AAA batteries as an internal FSB report puts it.
At any rate batteries were eventually placed in the device. Results are again disappointing consisting of close up shots of dogs' private parts partly obscured by some kind of liquid. And nothing else. And the stone is now missing. According to the leak (no pun intended) the stone may have been inadvertibly incorporporated into one of the new houses in the Orchard development-new images could appear downloaded onto the FSBs spymaster's sweaty palm top at any time.(hopefuly not from stone imbedded in a bathrom wall) The FSB is seeking to salvage something worthwhile from this botched op. by suggesting as images are only triggered by potentially hostile objects that the dogs may well be linked to Al Qaeda. Plans are afoot to round up local curs to see if they can be positively identified by their dangly bits and then detained for interrogation. We await further leaks in due course.