Huttonian mentioned in a previous post about black smoke emanating from somewhere not far from Paxton and connecting it with a news item on Tyne TV about an idea put forward by the British Asian Society to have funeral pyres in rural areas of North East England. A member of a traditional Hindu family was explaining how depressing the usual arrangements were at Crematoriums (Crematoria?) and how much more uplifting it would be to dispose of one's loved dear departed in some corner of a foreign field that is for ever Mumbai. A spokesman for the National Society for the further expansion of Crematoria (or something similar) not surprisingly objected to this possible competition from the Hindu community and expressed grave (no pun intended) reservations about environmental degradation, global warming effects on beef exports etc. He also thought that the local rural communities might object and mentioned how unpleasant the smell of burning flesh would be en plein air -crematoriums coped with this ok but was slightly defensive about the quality of the black smoke emanating from their chimneys-Newcastle Crematorium is vast and can frizzle a number of stiffs simultaneously at 15 minutes a go as queues build up. Certainly I can see the point about the depressing nature of the proceedings and I think if you have to burn, better to do so in a nice rural setting surrounded by leafy trees, singing birds and Dolly the Sheep.

If the good people of Northumberland want to keep their area pyre free, preferring instead, their traditional leafy bonfires and surplus tyres, that could be their loss. There may be a good business opportunity for Berwickshire and the wider Borders which already has facilities for 'natural burial' in a wood near Selkirk. Farmers struggling with shrinking subsidies could easily diversify into open air funerals followed by the ritualised bonfire in accordance with the appropriate rites. ' Local opposition and planning permission might be a problem but if the farming fraternity can get the planners to accept highly inappropriate mansions in pleasant rural situations getting the nod for a small corner of a large isolated field of dubious, allegedly, agricultural potential, should be a doddle. The pyre site will of course be at safe distance from the Big Hoose- but eventually adjacent to a nice little group of low cost housing approved by the self same planners as being ok-sited as they will be in a field no longer suitable for agricultural production because of the presence of an environmentally hazardous (but only to crops) funeral facility. And where low cost housing is the big battalions of developers with their middle class architecht designed four bedroomed boxes will quickly follow. Another desirable 'Living oppurtunity' with a name to commemorate its origins: Blue Smoke Meadows perhaps.

And as for the Hindu Pyre area it will of course be got rid of by 'popular demand and (belated)environmental considerations' as soon as the last bit of planning permision for the 250 boxes has been given. Blue Smoke is a nice name but not a nice sight. And as the man in the Berwick Taxi will comment: 'And a good thing too. I have nothing against these ethnic traditions but they have no place in the Borders. Nearer to (their) home thankyou very much.  ¶ 8:51 AM