Huttonian took advantage of another mistake by the BBC weather pronostigaters to mow the North Lawn for the first time since October-by this time last year we had cut the grass three times already. Thinking as one does whilst struggling with the machine( I really must get a MSP2 player to shut out thought with Tom Jones, Jim Reeves etc-The long long grass of home would be aptly inspirational -the MP1 will not work outside Westminster's remit) it occurred to me that as they are always looking for new sports at the Commonwealth Games. Mower racing would make an excellent event-from the 100 metres dash to longer competitions. Our combined 'lawns' carries the mower about 5 miles allowing for a certain amount of duplication here and there. So it is not a sport for Wimps.At the games power would be allowed to propel the blades but not the wheels and the Scottish team with members of the Merse Mowers to the fore, used to very tough grass and soft ground, would surely corner the medals. Disabled Mowtheletes would be allowed the sit on variety. And there could be a Retro Mower event using the old fashioned push ones. Just a thought.

James Kerr in his seminal (no bad pun intended-read on) work 'The Reivers Book of sex toys for Frogs' suggests that mowing, in effect, is the Frog's vibrator. There may be some force in this theory as I noticed above the hum of the mower strange noises-deep vibrato coming from the pond and suddenly the reeds were alive with large dark frogs quivering with excitement and tummies (or other parts) rumbling musically. I only hope that the early mowing is not going to provoke them into a series of premature ejaculations-premature if the hard frosts return bur late compared with last year when the spawn appeared on 10 March. Incidentally the day after I had mowed the back lawn. Further research required Mr Kerr.  ¶ 12:36 PM