Golf without a partner presents different problems in Duns than at the Royal County Down (PBUI) Norn Iron. At the latter you could time your arrival to avoid Beautiful Dreamer, Trolley Follower and Snake Killer-or play on the championship course and avoid everyone apart from the pesky greenkeepers-the earlier you played the more likely you were to find them on the green you were playing for-and
no other.At Duns the greenkeepers are later risers and are always heading to the green that you have just left. No inconvenience there. At Duns there are regular players-the Lady from Gavinton, the Cardiac Three, the Geriatic Two and the Lone Piper who always tee off at more or less the same time between 6-30 am and 8-15. As long as you remember that the Cardiac Three avoid any hill with an incline steeper than 1 in 16 and are aware that they can appear in front of you at any time on the second nine as they flit around you are ok. But Duns unlike the RCD (PBUI) positively encourages visitors-two for one scheme, Borders almost free golf project, weekly 60% discount plan, over 70s golf till you drop with free funeral thrown in idea, so even at the earliest of times you can find itinerant hackers who have got up incredibly early in Bournemouth to wreck nice cheap courses in Scotland. And they leave their manners at home. Not replacing their divots-or shell craters in most cases, wheeling their huge armour plated trolleys over the greens, not replacing the flags as they (eventually) finish a hole, chatting on the green after they have putted out comparing Duns unfavourably to the Royal Poole or Waterlooville and how at £10 it is a rip off. Refusing under any circumstances to wave any other match through even if they are a five ball and have lost 3 out of 5 balls at that time. **** You Jock. We are **** ing well staying here until we have found our ****ing balls and you peasants can wait your ****ing turn. So if you are a single player behind one of this lot you can either write off the whole morning in following meekly behind hoping to get through during the confusion caused by a cardiac arrest or pick up your ball and return to the club house for a bacon butty.
Thats the bit I am beginning to enjoy
