Reasons for Moving to the Borders # 456 TennisOur former abode in North London was awash with tennis courts. Some municipal, others very old small organisations run by very small elderly players deceptively feeble on the court and somewhat taciturn off it. The club we joined was full of very serious players and Huttonian made the mistake of playing competitive team tennis (Level Ten in the Middlesex League-no less) which involved 8 am practice and being snarled at after duff shots. When we arrived in Hutton a big priority was to find a court within easy reach and ideally not one of those snobby places with a dress code and compulsory social activities. As luck had it, we heard about courts across the Whiteadder Gorge in Foulden. On enquiring about membership -£8 a year (now a swingeing tenner)-and how much notice was needed for booking-'put it this way-we were told-the last time someone played was in May. We asked in July.
So we joined nearly nine years ago. There are two courts, a bit pebbly, with uneven bounce but brand new nets. We have only once played on a court to find the other occupied. We are still members #1 and #2. The keys are collected from a nearby house whose porch is always unlocked with the keys clearly visible on an inside ledge.. The only security is a large bouncy dog with a loloping tongue and a fierce deep bark but which has been trained not to attack tennis players. When you put your hand on the key it will wag its tail and make deep loving rumbles from deep within its intestines. Put your hand on anything else and you are joining the queue at the A&E, Berwick Infirmary.
It would be nice to see other players there. There have been rumours of another tennis player in the village for the past 8 years. Perhaps he has his own keys and plays at night-but by himself? The court is now shielded from its fine views of the Cheviots by an itchy rash of new housing-underdesigned and over priced. And whatever the denizens find to do in Foulden, Tennis is not it. After spending 345,000 quid on a new dwelling perhaps an extra £10 for tennis is the camel breaker. Come on I am happy to advance the sub. Enquiries via the usual channels.
