Fishwick Special Branch have announced that not withstanding the down grading of the security threat by High Heidians in Lunnon from Critical to Severe the local security status is to remain at
Soporific despite pressures from the Borders tourist board to have it lowered to
bucolic. This is nothing to do with the 'alleged' terrorist plots further south; the heightened status has been in effect since the Neighbourhood Watch sign was nicked from the Hutton Castle Barns neighbourhood. Raising the level from bucolic to soporific makes it more likely (apparently) that police will respond to a triggered burglar alarm rather than assuming its some rural hick who has got it wrong with one of his indisciplined cows blundering around the lounge.
