I brought over my antediluvian laptop (Windows 95BC) as it had suddenly lapsed into a coma, not to be revived as I had been told that Newcastle had a business which specialised in lap tops-something which is difficult to find in the Borders.It seemed that the problem was a fairly simple one -a new switch required but beyond my diy skills. The first two days over here the laptop centre was closed. On the third day, Friday, I took it in. A nice young lady in response to my enquiry said 'We close on Wednesdays' 'And Thursdays?' I asked. 'Wednesdays only' I did nor pursue this line of sterile enquiry and explained about the laptop. 'The techies are not in yet (it was quite early 1-30pm). 'Do you want to leave it?' I did' Your job number is 666' She giggled 'The Mark of the Beast' I did not make the obvious comment about repairs might be devilishly difficult but went on my way rejoicing.

That afternoon the young lady phoned.Apparently the laptop techie was away until Tuesday the following week (now this) and the PC expert 'could not touch it'. 'You won't forget the job number will you?' Another giggle. No I won't

Tuesday I was in the Republic. Wednesday, yes, closed as advertised. Today it being too wet for golf, a walk or even a mad dash to Mauds. I put on my complete wet weather gear, took my huge unbreakable Golfing Umbrella (made by Harland and Wolf) and braved the elements to the lap top centre. The giggling lady was away but a young techie looking man was on duty.I enquired about progress. Job number? '666' I said. 'The Mark of the Beast' He responded. Seriously. No hint of even a suppressed giggle, no smirk. 'I'll have a wee look' he said. He came back. 'My colleague has not been able to start on the job. But I'll have a wee go myself' 'But I thought only the lap top guy could do it'

'I am the lap top guy' He said.

'Give me call tomorrow' 'And don't forget it is job 666!'

'I won't' I said. 'that's the Mark of the Beast. How could I forget that?

'You'd be surprised' He said ' A lot of our customers do'  ¶ 10:05 AM