If there is anything worse than trial by the garrulous Four then it is ordeal by visiting Golfing Society. Fortunately the highheidyins at the Royal County Down(PBUI) are reluctant to allow Golfing Societies to play on the hallowed fairways of the No1 course so they are shunted off at a modest £20 a head onto the Annesley Course-aka the Ladies Course, aka the Hen Run. Although it is, despite such derogatory titles, a very good test of golf-more so than say Duns (MPBUI)Typical of these visitors was yesterdays excursion by the Bally Fekin (Sounds like) Golfing Society. Trousers into socks de rigeur,jazzy pullovers a must and a variety of slogan infested base ball caps. Shorts and T-shirts in the summer with well revealed builder's cleavage when putting but in October it is the long troos with the tucked in trouser bottoms and the sneakers. For that relief much thanks.

The only safe place to be on any fairway when the lads are out (and they areusuallyy male) is straight in front of them. Anywhere else, left, right and even slightly behind is dangerous. Balls come from the most unlikely directions. No shouts of 'Fore' or any other warnings as most of then have no idea where their shots arelikelyy to end up. Its a great day for the ball stalker and his Alsatian as the rounds are long enough without having to waste time looking for balls at £2 a go-society members will only use the mosprestigiousus ones-as hit by Mr Woods. And the damage they do. Great chunks of earth sometimes going further than the ball and huge craters in the bunkers which they don't bother to smooth down after their explosive works have finished, ball picked up, line drawn (indeed in the sand) and moved on. As indeed Huttonian has to the furthest corner of the No 1 Course-out of sight and most importantly

Out of range.  ¶ 11:34 AM