On the Health

Scottish Hospitals have a lot going for them once you can get into them. Its not simple. Not even if you really need to. After a night of bleeding from Mth and Nstrl , no sleep after returning to the Old Manse at 4-30 AM , getting hold of a letter of referral from the GP at 9am who had made an appointment for the ENT Dept at St John's Livingstone, and the valiant wife driving me up the 70 miles or so (having driven to the GBH and back twice the day before) to the 'Out Patients Dept'. Or so it said. The Dragon on duty, looked at the envelope of the letter of referral, read the contents and claimed no knowledge of Huttonian. We expostulated. The Dragon breathed smoke but remained unhelpful. I rang the GP. The receptionist confirmed that an appointment had been made and records sent to ENT, St John's. The Dragon pounced-''It says 'Eye'on the envelope" Pointing triumphantly. The wife freaked through ground down teeth' " Read what it says in the letter E N T" and added some thing about the competence of the NHS. Spake the Dragon ' It says Eye on the envelope. This is the eye department. We have not got an appointment for you' Spitting blood (which was really my forte) the wife explained through enflamed gums that the GP's receptionist in far away Chirnside had made a mistake-just deal with the letter forget the envelope -she snatched the letter back-scratched out Eye and replaced it with ENT. 'There' she said. Can you direct us to ENT if this is EYE. I had also persauded an assistant Dragon to talk to the Chirnside Receptionist and a concensus emerged that it really was the ENT department we needed and we should perhaps enquire there.

Very kindly, a slightly mollified Dragon escorted us to within sight of ENT out patients (400 yards away), muttering away about Eye on the envelope. Matched by a muttering wife wondering aloud if the billions spent on the NHS might have spent more profitably in Iraq

They had not heard of us in ENT either. Not really our day

But the very helpful receptionist there, using her nouse and the phone (The Eye lady had used my mobile ) established that we were expected in the ENT Ward. To be admitted it transpired.

'Well you seem to have ended up at the right placc after all' said the wife

I could not but agree.

It was the 'Ended up' bit which worried me.


Next Thrilling Installment to follow. If I am spared.

And I really do mean that.

Labels: Bloody Nose, NHS

  ¶ 10:56 AM