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Musings from the Merse
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
 
FELLOW FEELING

Huttonian is an Honorary Fellow at the University of Edinburgh. Sounds grand, dont it? In fact it is cheap employment either for outsiders like ex Diplomats who have been there and done that and don't want to be arms salesmen or very ancient former academics who would like to hang on to their mortar boards and have a warm office to go to from time to time. We get paid for what we do. Pro rata. Nothing frivolous like a salary. Me for my occasional lectures and seminars. Cheap I think I mentioned. Put it this way.After paying tax on my fee added to my other income and deducting my travel I am 25p to the good. Could be worse. On days when I catch a train in rush hour, my more expensive 'Senior Railcard' ticket ensures I am 75 p to the bad. No frills. No special facilities for HFs.I am based in the faculty tea room, warmed by the water boiler, cooled by the water dispenser and talk to students who want to see me in the windy wilds of George Square.

So to day (after 9 years or so on the job, academically speaking) I was thrilled to see a sign which said Honorary Fellows Room- Basement: Room 23 through room 24. Room 24 was locked. After trying several offices I found a lady who was apparently in charge of graduate facilities. HFs are assumed to be graduates. I explained I was an HF; she was unimpressed and referred me to another woman, her assistant, who was even more unimpressed at my title, my position and functions (She must have seen my pay slip) After some interrogation as to my Bona Fides she sighed deeply, reluctantly left her desk, unlocked Room 24, took me through the faculty cinema into room 23. Computers! Phones! Chairs! Work spaces! And a view of the rather nice patch of earth which passes for a secluded garden to which there is no access or egress except via a fire escape from the first floor. What you do having escaped from the burning building I do not know-wait for it to fall down on you I suppose or climb up the fire escape when the embers have cooled.

But better than the Tea room. I asked my companion for a key. I' suppose I can have one cut by 'works, amenities and faculty engineering' or some such, she said with a sigh. I'll pick it up later this week I said-no you won't WA & FE are very busy. Like me she said. You will be lucky to get it by the end of term. She said. And then the room will not be available. I asked about access to the PCs, passwords, user names etc -not my responsibility she snapped, ask at the Library-they are responsible for IT. And she left me.

I asked the other occupant of the room-a very distinguished and ancient Honorary Fellow, an Emeritus Professor as well no doubt if the young lady was always so unhelpful. Yes he said but you are lucky-you got her on a good day.

But the phone. At least I have that. Call the wife and tell her that after 9 years of a Bedouin existence I have a place to call my own where I can rest between coffee breaks. On advice of the HF/EP I dialled 9 for an outside line. Nothing happpened . Greatly daring, not trusting my luck I dialled the whole number.... a voice said 'You are in a queue for an outside line.' I asked the old Prof what was meant by an outside line in this context. He gestured towards the scorched earth outside the basement window. Can I call long distance? I asked? Yes he said

:the Library.

Its nice to be so cherished. And appreciated

I could get used to it.
 
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