Musings from the Merse
Saturday, April 21, 2007
BORDERS EMBASSY IN USA SOUGHT
Screams the Berwickshire on its Page 3-sharing this excitement with the life and times of the Laird. It is actually a story about the manifesto issued by the newly formed Borders Party-see earlier posts for further elucidation.
Much of the party's wish list makes sense especially about the age old problem of promoting tourism to these here parts. VisitScotland is a busted flush and the BP is quite right in demanding an end to that meaningless description of the Borders as 'Scotland's favourite short break destination' Making it 'drive through counties' on the way to or from more exotic and interesting places. BP's big idea is to promote our turbulent past and especially the Reivers with a Reivers Trail, festooned no doubt, with gibbets creaking in the wind and interactive interpretation
boards telling of Wynsome Maydes foully ravished and done to death or Laird's cattle hamstrung by nocturnal raiders long ago. The Reivers have a story to tell. Lets tell it. Difficult to exaggerate their sheer awfulness but lets do our best. Apparently VisitScotland and other 'tourism chiefs' did not want to 'highlight our violent past' Spineless wimps imply the BP. Where is Mel Gibson when we need him? Why bother to go to Bannockburn or Culloden when you can nostalgically wallow in blood around here. Ever heard of Flodden? Mel G as James IV?
The other vision thing is to sell the Borders in the US of A. Kick start a heritage/genealogical campaign. Play up the Nixons, Johnsons, Grahams connections.And Armstrong-straight from Border country to the Moon. And at least one famous Nixon not only looked a bit like an old Reiver (imagine him in a Reiver helmet and see what I mean) certainly acted like one. So the party would like to set up a Borders Embassy in Washington to sell us to naive and credulous Yanks. What they need is a well established Borders resident, ideally from the Merse, with an extensive knowledge of international diplomacy,three years experience of working as a diplomat in the US, speaks the language fluently, and would not be embarrassed by a huge salary and generous allowances.
Where do I sign?
Screams the Berwickshire on its Page 3-sharing this excitement with the life and times of the Laird. It is actually a story about the manifesto issued by the newly formed Borders Party-see earlier posts for further elucidation.
Much of the party's wish list makes sense especially about the age old problem of promoting tourism to these here parts. VisitScotland is a busted flush and the BP is quite right in demanding an end to that meaningless description of the Borders as 'Scotland's favourite short break destination' Making it 'drive through counties' on the way to or from more exotic and interesting places. BP's big idea is to promote our turbulent past and especially the Reivers with a Reivers Trail, festooned no doubt, with gibbets creaking in the wind and interactive interpretation
boards telling of Wynsome Maydes foully ravished and done to death or Laird's cattle hamstrung by nocturnal raiders long ago. The Reivers have a story to tell. Lets tell it. Difficult to exaggerate their sheer awfulness but lets do our best. Apparently VisitScotland and other 'tourism chiefs' did not want to 'highlight our violent past' Spineless wimps imply the BP. Where is Mel Gibson when we need him? Why bother to go to Bannockburn or Culloden when you can nostalgically wallow in blood around here. Ever heard of Flodden? Mel G as James IV?
The other vision thing is to sell the Borders in the US of A. Kick start a heritage/genealogical campaign. Play up the Nixons, Johnsons, Grahams connections.And Armstrong-straight from Border country to the Moon. And at least one famous Nixon not only looked a bit like an old Reiver (imagine him in a Reiver helmet and see what I mean) certainly acted like one. So the party would like to set up a Borders Embassy in Washington to sell us to naive and credulous Yanks. What they need is a well established Borders resident, ideally from the Merse, with an extensive knowledge of international diplomacy,three years experience of working as a diplomat in the US, speaks the language fluently, and would not be embarrassed by a huge salary and generous allowances.
Where do I sign?
Labels: Borders Party, Merse, Scottish politics
Comments:
Cometh the hour cometh the man...
Huttonian please step forward, you're on your way to the USA. Now a few practicalities. Budget constraints will mean that rowing yourself and your goods and chattels across the pond will I'm afraid be your first challenge. A request for the use of the spare bedroom at Sean Connery's New York apartment as your office has so far met with polite silence. On the up side a Border's kilt maker has offered to provide you with a selection of formal and day attire.
All joking aside I think the idea of the Border's Embassy is neither as expensive nor as impractical as it sounds. It's a creative marketing ruse, the kind VisitScotland should be coming up with, rather than bleating on about their paltry £27 million marketing budget.
Huttonian please step forward, you're on your way to the USA. Now a few practicalities. Budget constraints will mean that rowing yourself and your goods and chattels across the pond will I'm afraid be your first challenge. A request for the use of the spare bedroom at Sean Connery's New York apartment as your office has so far met with polite silence. On the up side a Border's kilt maker has offered to provide you with a selection of formal and day attire.
All joking aside I think the idea of the Border's Embassy is neither as expensive nor as impractical as it sounds. It's a creative marketing ruse, the kind VisitScotland should be coming up with, rather than bleating on about their paltry £27 million marketing budget.
I once had a proper job; the last one involved working for an American airline. Before I got it I had lunch with the chairman of the company, which doubled as an interview. After a lot of small talk he suddenly said, "Why should I give you a job?” Being unable to think of anything plausible I said. "I'm bi-lingual." At that moment he probably thought, why am I wasting my time on the fruitcake. We then went on to have a long conversation about speaking American and English and the pitfalls of not understanding English, English - for a yank at the court King Arthur, or American English as an Englishman in Texas.
I am up to rowing. Although Google Maps advises swimming. Two coubtries divided by a coomon language is right. A friend of mine staying with an American family said to the daughter of the house who had to make a very early start next day ;'Don't worry I'll knock you up in the morning"
There was something of a (pregnant) pause at this point-not helped by the friend who had earlier made a mistake in the NY Times Crosswpord and asked his hostess if he could borrow a rubber!
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There was something of a (pregnant) pause at this point-not helped by the friend who had earlier made a mistake in the NY Times Crosswpord and asked his hostess if he could borrow a rubber!
