Skipped in the Loo?

Northerners are dirtier than Suthron folk is the result of a recent survey which you can read here 'Faecal' matter is commoner on hands the further north you go, apparently. I suppose with bath tubs full of coal and washbasins with fire lighters Northerners have no where easily accessible for cleaning up after going to the loo.

The survey, you will note, does not apply to Scotland. Do hands magically self clean as you cross the border or is the northern dirtier tendency accentuated. Inverness folk, faecally challenged more than most? We must await the result of a new survey to be sure.

I mentioned this survey to a Dinger-of wide experience and apparently clean hands. 'Glimpse of the bluidy obvious' He said. ' Posteriors* down south are not usually cleaned by hand. Have you noticed what long tongues most Londoners have?'

In the meanwhile I suggest you play safe. If you are introduced someone in Newcastle Central Station follow Japanese etiquette and bow politely, keeping your hands to yourself. Or if you happen to know the person (and he or she is from continental Europe) a kiss on both cheeks might suffice-northern cheeks that is, not those further down.

* he used a more vulgar form.

(The image is of Newcastle Central Station. No one is shaking hands. I wonder why)

PS It is apparently UN hand washing day Not in Duns however. We have clean hands and clear consciences, thankyou very much

Labels: Faecal matter, Loos, Newcastle Central Station, Shaking Hands

  ¶ 11:21 AM