Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? *

You don't happen to have kept last Monday's Guardian? said the newsagent to Huttonian last Wednesday. We under ordered and have an anxious customer. Fortunately the recycling had gone on Monday morning and the Guardian in question was in the new bag. But, Horrors, I had forgotten that the wood burning stove had gobbled up half the review section the day before (4 sheets of G2 will ignite the kindling if used the day after publication, 3 sheets the following day as they will have dried out a bit. As my father used to say: the Guardian is for Wets**)

I gave the Newsagent what I had. All complete but for a mangled G2.He said that his customer would be most relieved, as was he.Apparently she comes in on Thursdays from the country and only takes Monday's Guardian amongst a range of weekly publications. Why? What is so special about Mondays? Would she not mind about the gutted G2? Don't know.Still don't know . No; she claims not to read it.

My theory is that she lights her fire once a week , on Thursdays; by which time a bone dry paper is up to the job. G2 is too fiddly, better the Sports Section where you get a lot of blaze for your buck.

And in the Summer?

Well for some thing else, in Lieu***. Fit for purpose. The Coop not having any of the politically correct, recycled, double sided, porous stuff which will one day save our planet and unnecessary trips to Lidl.

* Rough trans: Who will look after our Guardians if the Newsagent doesn't
** But not Tory ones. To my dad an oxymoron. Only Liberals read the Manchester Guardian.
*** Convoluted Pun intended

Labels: lighting wood burning stoves, Loos, The Guardian

  ¶ 9:14 AM