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Musings from the Merse
Friday, March 27, 2009
 

Turn Around When Possible

is a frequent refrain from Sean, the nice Irish voice on our satnav. We went over to Sean from Sarah (Cool and English and rather bossy) and have yet to love Bruce, the Strine with attitude-'Turn left NOW you effffffing Pommie b?????d' Sean is cool. collected and respectful even when urging you to drive across Whitestane ford through six feet of raging torrent. And he remains calm, without a squeak of protest. when according to him, you are traversing fields of golden Corn, or more likely Rape, on the new A68 connecting road from the Embra bypass heading Jedburghwards. Yet to be programmed into Tom Tom like much of the Borders-Terra Incognita 'Here be Speed Traps' or more correctly : Hic exsisto Volo Laqueus

I suspect Bruce was at the helm when this happened

I dare say Bruce's philosophy is :if you must go

Take a Pom with you

And of course if its the other programmable Bruce, with the Scots twang, the same strategy would apply.

I might revert to Sarah.

(The image is Blue Stane ford in spate. Water over the gauge but Sean can't read)

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Comments:
As you know, Sean tried to drown me in that ford and then cause death by exhaustion by forcing me to drive around Berwick in circles. I reckon he was in charge of the cliff-top car. Don't be deceived by that gentle Irish lilt.
 
Poor Sean. He loved The Old Manse and just wanted to take you there by the shortest route.
 
The morons that get in to trouble with SatNav ought to have their vehicles crushed (preferably with them still in it) - it's not beyond the wit of lorryist to look at the D9352 and think "that's not for 40 tonne trucks" - the idiot in the story linked only stopped "when he drove through a fence" - how many open public roads (not under construction) have fences across them??!!!

It's like a map book and a pre-planned route - but being nagged by an automaton rather than your passenger - if Mrs Huttonian said "Turn down there" and it was a footpath with bollards across it you wouldn't do it and then blame her would you?
 
Well I just might!
 
Clearly Mrs Huttonian isn't instilling the right level of "fear and alarm" then...

The point is that regardless of who is giving the instructions be it man/woman/voices in the head/satnav - the driver is in control and should be exercising "due care" at all times. Those not doing so should be excised from society (if their blatant adherence to Tomtomism doesn't do it first).
 
The Jungle Drums have a powerful influence on the sanest of people

It is the 'fear and alarm' that Mrs H instills which may get me over a cliff against my better judgment!
 
Give him our postcode and he would lose you totally because this is a data base black hole, which is why the roads are clogged with disgruntled Wegie drivers from Curries trying to offload their freezers.
 
Wouldn't faze Sean. He took us through La France Profonde at 1am. The Merse would be a doddle Blue Stane Ford always excepted
 
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