Musings from the Merse
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Come into the Allotment Maud
I don't know why I find this letter in the Berwickshire irritating:
SIR, - Those of us who live here but were not fortunate enough to have been born in Scotland are all too aware of the debt we owe Scotland; for the comfort afforded by the waterproof, invented by McIntosh, the astonishing discovery of radar by Sir Robert Watson-Watt, for the sublime sartorial swimwear that is “Speedo” by Alexander McRae, also the invaluable, but torture-some tool that is logarithms, formalised by John Napier, for these, and haggis of course, to name only a particle of our debt to you, we non-Scots thank you.
Now it is time for us to bring north, across the border, a little something of our own, to you; with the advance of global warming, the Scottish climate no longer requires that Scots stay indoors creating inventions of genius, you can come outdoors and we will introduce you to the world of allotments.
The Eyemouth Allotments Society is impoverished by the lack of native Eyemouth people and indeed Scots, so please, let us show you what growing your own food is like, how the whole family can join in, where an allotment site can become a mini-community and where we share our efforts, expertise and know-how, only don't expect us to keep up with you Scots on the technical stuff!
For more information about allotments in Eyemouth, please contact (name concealed for Human Rights reasons but available with contact details in the Berwickshire)
It may be that I find it puzzling that anyone feels the needs to be apologetic about not being born in Scotland. What is that to do with anything? If it was the norm to be born in Scotland the Borders could be unpleasantly overcrowded. Moreover Huttonian was not born there nor was Dr Crippen,Sir Donald Bradman, Jean Paul Satre, the inventor of the tooth brush, William Shakespeare and the woman who designed the first darning needles. On Scottish inventions Speedo has done nothing for me and there is no evidence that a Scot invented the toilet seat*. As for allotments-are they really a novelty in Scotland? They certainly have existed in Embra for yonks.And why grow your own veg anyhow and thus risk putting the Green Shop out of business
Patronising guff if you ask me.
But you probably wont
(* Thought to have been an Irish invention in 16 something. 50 years later an Englishman put a hole in it)
I don't know why I find this letter in the Berwickshire irritating:
SIR, - Those of us who live here but were not fortunate enough to have been born in Scotland are all too aware of the debt we owe Scotland; for the comfort afforded by the waterproof, invented by McIntosh, the astonishing discovery of radar by Sir Robert Watson-Watt, for the sublime sartorial swimwear that is “Speedo” by Alexander McRae, also the invaluable, but torture-some tool that is logarithms, formalised by John Napier, for these, and haggis of course, to name only a particle of our debt to you, we non-Scots thank you.
Now it is time for us to bring north, across the border, a little something of our own, to you; with the advance of global warming, the Scottish climate no longer requires that Scots stay indoors creating inventions of genius, you can come outdoors and we will introduce you to the world of allotments.
The Eyemouth Allotments Society is impoverished by the lack of native Eyemouth people and indeed Scots, so please, let us show you what growing your own food is like, how the whole family can join in, where an allotment site can become a mini-community and where we share our efforts, expertise and know-how, only don't expect us to keep up with you Scots on the technical stuff!
For more information about allotments in Eyemouth, please contact (name concealed for Human Rights reasons but available with contact details in the Berwickshire)
It may be that I find it puzzling that anyone feels the needs to be apologetic about not being born in Scotland. What is that to do with anything? If it was the norm to be born in Scotland the Borders could be unpleasantly overcrowded. Moreover Huttonian was not born there nor was Dr Crippen,Sir Donald Bradman, Jean Paul Satre, the inventor of the tooth brush, William Shakespeare and the woman who designed the first darning needles. On Scottish inventions Speedo has done nothing for me and there is no evidence that a Scot invented the toilet seat*. As for allotments-are they really a novelty in Scotland? They certainly have existed in Embra for yonks.And why grow your own veg anyhow and thus risk putting the Green Shop out of business
Patronising guff if you ask me.
But you probably wont
(* Thought to have been an Irish invention in 16 something. 50 years later an Englishman put a hole in it)
Labels: Eyemouth, Scottish inventions; allotments
Comments:
I am sorry you found this patronising - we really do think that this is a civilised country, as do many Scots, perhaps you have not had the misfortune of having to live outside this area. The letter was intended as a gentle parody of English self-importance and a stimulation to get more locals aware of allotments. Have another read.
# posted by 
: 5:27 PM
: 5:27 PM
As a parody I don't think it quite works! I have no quarrel with your motivations being a great fan of the allotment philosophy; but I think you will not persuade many Scots to take up their forks with a piece which comes across as English self importance (the real thing-not a parody) and also from a Scottish point of view definitely patronising. I have lived mlost of my life outside the Borders and much as I love it it is not amisfortune to live elsewhere!
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