Musings from the Merse
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Boxing Day in L'Etang la Ville is rather like Boxing Day anywhere else. Its grey. The cold sunny weather has been replaced by a frigid Gallic Dreich. Some shops open, others firmly closed and a bitter blow this, La Maison Des Journaux is open, but the nouveau Guardian n'est pas arrive.'Peut etre cette apres midi, Monsieur-vous preferez le Herald Tribune?' 'Monsieur did not and the long uphill trek home, emtpy handed.
Only les hygiénistes environnemental lifted my spirits. Today is recycling bin day. All kinds of stuff are removed to be recycled and sent off to provide raw material for the French arms industry. Unlike Hutton glass goes as well. But the quality control at point of collection is ruthless. As I passed a bin under scrutiny a rummaging homme de refuse pulled out a collection of polysterene and kicked it in the general direction of the pavement strwing most of it over the road. A fierce rebuke from Le Capitan des hommes de refuse who then personally made a neat pile of polysterene. Stood back to admire his handiwork and then
Kicked it on to the pavement.
Quelle Finesse
The image typifies the overflowing bins. Surprisingly the rubbish blokes did not seem to mind collecting from outside the receptacles. It just had to be
The Right Stuff
Labels: Christmas in France, L'Etang La Ville, Rubbish
Monday, December 24, 2007
L'Etang la Ville is flanked by the vast Foret de Marly, a former Royal Hunting Forest. The ambiance is slightly spoiled by a graffiti infested pedestrian tunnel under the suburban railwayline. It is said to be the haunt of young glue sniffers with spray cans. The effect of their art work is somewhat grotesque but if you look carefully there are some startlingly good images, including, appropriately enough,
a magic mushroom.
Hutton Think Tank might adopt the graffiti therapy technique for glue sniffers in the Merse and a working party, after an all expenses paid trip to France have suggested that a tunnel studio on the Foret de Marly model, should be utilised to allow disadvantaged and disturbed youngsters to sniff in peace and develop their more sensitive talents. Spray cans will be provided by the Paxton Trust.
Only one problem. No Tunnel has been located. Reason?
No Railway.
Oh dear back to the Drawing Board, Er, Spraying wall?
Labels: Christmas in France, Foret de Marly
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Indoor games Near L'Etang La Ville
Some of the party being struckdown with a slight lurgi plans to visit La Grand Palais were abandoned; it being very cold-still -C a lot. So it is stuck inside with two under exercised and over excited children.`No problem Huttonian fancies himself as a dab hand with indoor activities especially those involving flying machines-and above all minature unbreakable helicopters-suitable for ages 7 and up?
Up? Perhaps there is an upward age limit. If not mentioned in the Catalogue: Presents for Boys. Or perhaps the flying device is meant to skid across the floor upside down, have more left ward tendency than Old Labour, disappear up the sooty chimney when hand launched and as an encore flick coffee cups off side tables. Beyond Huttonian, literally and metaphorically. 'Stop it Grandad'said the grandson before you break it.
I did.
Reward for prompt obedience: a go on Robot Quod. It dances,it squeaks, it has three modes : 'aggressiv' and 'tres aggressiv' and 'tres tres aggressiv'and has (suitable for ages 12 and up) an 'on demand, copulatory position featuring endearing squeaks and waving back legs.
And so the long days drags on.
Very slowly
Roll on Christmas.
Some of the party being struckdown with a slight lurgi plans to visit La Grand Palais were abandoned; it being very cold-still -C a lot. So it is stuck inside with two under exercised and over excited children.`No problem Huttonian fancies himself as a dab hand with indoor activities especially those involving flying machines-and above all minature unbreakable helicopters-suitable for ages 7 and up?
Up? Perhaps there is an upward age limit. If not mentioned in the Catalogue: Presents for Boys. Or perhaps the flying device is meant to skid across the floor upside down, have more left ward tendency than Old Labour, disappear up the sooty chimney when hand launched and as an encore flick coffee cups off side tables. Beyond Huttonian, literally and metaphorically. 'Stop it Grandad'said the grandson before you break it.
I did.
Reward for prompt obedience: a go on Robot Quod. It dances,it squeaks, it has three modes : 'aggressiv' and 'tres aggressiv' and 'tres tres aggressiv'and has (suitable for ages 12 and up) an 'on demand, copulatory position featuring endearing squeaks and waving back legs.
And so the long days drags on.
Very slowly
Roll on Christmas.
Labels: Christmas in France
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Pas des incidents in Etang La Ville
Suddenly at 7pm our lights went out. A quick glance around confirmed we were alone in our misery. Everywhere else Christmas Trees, decorations, cosy rooms seen through frosted (literally) glass. For us Tenebre Profonde. Three chidren in house and two aged people. Crisis at Christmas
First IA (Immediate action as in military jargon)check the fuses and trip switches in the vast freezing garage, All Ok Second IA: ring the agent for the property. Out. Leave a message. Third : ring EDF (Electricitie Diaboloque Francaise) Can't help as son in law has hidden electricity bills and we don't have the account number. Ring son in law; out carousing with pals, leave messageRing ermergency electrician found in Pages Jaunes. Will come for 76 Euro but suggest call EDF. Will set out anyway, be there in an hour.
Cat asks to go out.
Ring EDF-ascertain from auto system : pas des incidents in our area. Not EDF's problem. Want to speak to human but still need the account number. Son in law returns call and follow his vague instructions to find bills. Find them somewhere else. Ring EDF , oldest daughter's mobile out of credit.Use mine making international calls on my UK account. Find Human in EDF (after 30 minutes on hold) No incidents in Etang La Ville. Not our problem. Find an electrician. And have a good day. Thankyou for calling EDF
Now 9.15pm. -10C outside, not much warmer within despite log fire lit with some difficulty using old electricity bills, The Guardian (Overseas edition) cereal packets and about 28 firelighters.Fire looks lovely but all heat up chimney. Two children asleep, one rampaging.
Ascertain that Emergency Electrician is 15 minutes away-only 90 minutes on road so far. Agent surfaces returning call. Stand down electrician he advises. He will come himself. Gives eldest daughter instructions on how to turn the power back on. Useless. He sets off.
Emergency Electrician turns up. Two small screwdrivers, a torch with no battery. Uses ours. No power coming through is his verdict after ineffectually trying all the switches. Pokes a few fuses. Advises call EDF. Demands Euro 150. His boss was mistaken in quoting 76. Eldest Daughter gives him short shrift. Accepts cheque for Euro 76. Departs, muttering.
Lights come on just as Agent arrives. Apparently the master switch is on the main road at our gate. The protective container is broken and the box unlocked and some jeune homme francais passing our gate presumably decided to pull up the switch as une plaisantarie seasonale. Or perhaps a manifestation of anti Brit sentiment. Agent switches on again. Merry Christmas
Finish off flat beer.
Son in Law returns. Full of high spirits and cheap wine. Asks about our evening.
We tell him.
Suggest cat comes in.
Refuses.
Suddenly at 7pm our lights went out. A quick glance around confirmed we were alone in our misery. Everywhere else Christmas Trees, decorations, cosy rooms seen through frosted (literally) glass. For us Tenebre Profonde. Three chidren in house and two aged people. Crisis at Christmas
First IA (Immediate action as in military jargon)check the fuses and trip switches in the vast freezing garage, All Ok Second IA: ring the agent for the property. Out. Leave a message. Third : ring EDF (Electricitie Diaboloque Francaise) Can't help as son in law has hidden electricity bills and we don't have the account number. Ring son in law; out carousing with pals, leave messageRing ermergency electrician found in Pages Jaunes. Will come for 76 Euro but suggest call EDF. Will set out anyway, be there in an hour.
Cat asks to go out.
Ring EDF-ascertain from auto system : pas des incidents in our area. Not EDF's problem. Want to speak to human but still need the account number. Son in law returns call and follow his vague instructions to find bills. Find them somewhere else. Ring EDF , oldest daughter's mobile out of credit.Use mine making international calls on my UK account. Find Human in EDF (after 30 minutes on hold) No incidents in Etang La Ville. Not our problem. Find an electrician. And have a good day. Thankyou for calling EDF
Now 9.15pm. -10C outside, not much warmer within despite log fire lit with some difficulty using old electricity bills, The Guardian (Overseas edition) cereal packets and about 28 firelighters.Fire looks lovely but all heat up chimney. Two children asleep, one rampaging.
Ascertain that Emergency Electrician is 15 minutes away-only 90 minutes on road so far. Agent surfaces returning call. Stand down electrician he advises. He will come himself. Gives eldest daughter instructions on how to turn the power back on. Useless. He sets off.
Emergency Electrician turns up. Two small screwdrivers, a torch with no battery. Uses ours. No power coming through is his verdict after ineffectually trying all the switches. Pokes a few fuses. Advises call EDF. Demands Euro 150. His boss was mistaken in quoting 76. Eldest Daughter gives him short shrift. Accepts cheque for Euro 76. Departs, muttering.
Lights come on just as Agent arrives. Apparently the master switch is on the main road at our gate. The protective container is broken and the box unlocked and some jeune homme francais passing our gate presumably decided to pull up the switch as une plaisantarie seasonale. Or perhaps a manifestation of anti Brit sentiment. Agent switches on again. Merry Christmas
Finish off flat beer.
Son in Law returns. Full of high spirits and cheap wine. Asks about our evening.
We tell him.
Suggest cat comes in.
Refuses.
Labels: Christmas in France, EDF
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Cherchez Les Diablotins
Christmas Crackers are a rare commodity in France. You can get British stuff in the more recherche supermarkets in the posher towns. The Prix Unique in St Germaine en Laye has an 'English Section' with Marmite, Heinz Baked Beans, Sandwich spread, politically correct crisps, lime marmalade-but we despaired of finding the crackers
anywhere-indeed the middle daughter had been tasked with bringing some over. But suddenly, in the goods exotique section there they were : Crackers (Diablotin). The lid carried careful instructions : Mode d'Emploi: Tirer sur le cracker d'un (sic)coups sec, bout de bras, loin du visage. No explanation that it requires two to crack* And there is the answer to 'Qu'est qu'un a Cracker?' explaining that in GB it is used on a variety of occasions especially festive ones; not at funerals then. It also urges you to use the crackers with a meal or refreshments. As for Noel-Les Britanniques have utilised the cracker as une coutume since 1850
The carton also has un photo of the plaisanteries ou enigme britannique and a nice selection of petit articles de cadaeu (sic yet again) ou de nouveaute
(* According to some French books of reference solitary cracker pulling is La Vice Anglaise-Blog ed)
Labels: Christmas in France, crackers
