Musings from the Merse
Monday, October 30, 2006
BANKING BORDERS STYLE
The Bank of Scotland believe in exclusive bank-ie excluding their customers from such mundane matters as being able to relephone their branch directly. You need first to call a 'central' number, (a call centre but in Glasgow, not Mumbai, for the moment, anyhow) one of those begining 0870 and then having explained your business to 4 different people low on Iron Bru you get put through to your local branch, or not, depending on how many rs there are in the month. A kind lady with a real Borders name took pity on us in the Hide Hill Branch and handed out her card with her Berwick branch number on it-no doubt breaking as many bank codes as GCHQ can manage on a normal working day-and so a daring and thoughtful act.
The wife needing to conduct some urgent Bonk of S business called this Berwick branch number this morning.A lady promptly responded. The wife stated business indicating a need to call on said branch asap. Kind lady said she could not give the wife the number of the Berwick branch, not policy you know, but would put her through immediately. Soothing music and three ads for the Halifax later the wife was in contact with a helpful female who said with an air of some surprise 'Haven't I just been talking to you?'
So when is a branch number not a branch number. Answer: when it is a call centre number. Either the lady was beamed, Scotty like (no pun intended) from Glasgow to Berwick (but it was a Berwick number) or else she, the Poobah of the bonking system, alternates on being a call centre employee and a Bank teller. WE should be told.
But we won't. Not policy you know.
The Bank of Scotland believe in exclusive bank-ie excluding their customers from such mundane matters as being able to relephone their branch directly. You need first to call a 'central' number, (a call centre but in Glasgow, not Mumbai, for the moment, anyhow) one of those begining 0870 and then having explained your business to 4 different people low on Iron Bru you get put through to your local branch, or not, depending on how many rs there are in the month. A kind lady with a real Borders name took pity on us in the Hide Hill Branch and handed out her card with her Berwick branch number on it-no doubt breaking as many bank codes as GCHQ can manage on a normal working day-and so a daring and thoughtful act.
The wife needing to conduct some urgent Bonk of S business called this Berwick branch number this morning.A lady promptly responded. The wife stated business indicating a need to call on said branch asap. Kind lady said she could not give the wife the number of the Berwick branch, not policy you know, but would put her through immediately. Soothing music and three ads for the Halifax later the wife was in contact with a helpful female who said with an air of some surprise 'Haven't I just been talking to you?'
So when is a branch number not a branch number. Answer: when it is a call centre number. Either the lady was beamed, Scotty like (no pun intended) from Glasgow to Berwick (but it was a Berwick number) or else she, the Poobah of the bonking system, alternates on being a call centre employee and a Bank teller. WE should be told.
But we won't. Not policy you know.
Comments:
A family member used to work for Halifax-BOS south of the border and all their branch local numbers were diverted to the local call centre and a top secret never-to-be-published list of branch actual numbers was drawn up so people continued to think they were calling the local branch, but being put through to the local call centre (presumably Glasgow for Scotland, Newcastle for NE England, etc) to be dealt with - only when it became totally obvious that it was a local query would it get through to local branch on the top secret not-for-publication number.
On visiting BOS we were given another card with a top secret number. It was the same one. We asked anxiously where it rang-here (pointing) to a nice little instrument beside her desk. I looked out of the window. It was Berwick; not Glasgow and not Mumbai.
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