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Musings from the Merse
Friday, February 06, 2009
 


Huttonian only rarely reads the Berwick Advertiser as the world it reports on although only 15 miles or so from Duns and less than 7 from down town Hutton it might well be on a different planet as far as news and 'issues' are concerned. Its letter column, always a good indicator of what the lunatic fringe is up to carried this gem :

SIR,-As neither our council nor our overstretched blue thin line seem to be able to rid our public areas of intimidating groups of alcoholics and drug addicts, who appear to flaunt local bylaws with relative impunity, may I be permitted to offer a solution?
My thoughts are that we should, perhaps through public subscription, purchase a water cannon.
I for one would volunteer to be trained on such a vehicle and I am sure the dog warden would be right there with me.
The use of this vehicle, which would supplement the refuse cart, on a regular basis would go some way to resolving the problem.
Not only that, we could also tackle dog and seagull deposits at the same time and perhaps loosen chewing gum on the pavements, particularly at the 'methazone' (Boots forecourt)!
If, as I suspect, the above is considered too cost prohibitive in today's current financial climate and/or a tad too politically incorrect, then can I suggest a cheaper alternative?
We could designate a dedicated area where these morons could congregate (the low water mark at Spittal beach just before a spring tide springs to mind) and place at their disposal their very own recycling apparatus by way of a bottle/can bank, sharps bin and mega skip!
Seriously though. I ask the question.
Is it really beyond our collective wit to rid our parks and beauty spots of these non contributing low life before they (the former) all become permanent ‘no go’ areas for townsfolk and visitors alike?



Is this really so OTT? Could Duns get like this? As for Hutton,the Think Tank believes there is a certain resonance: The CEO (HT2) points out that if it was known the first dog owner who permits his pet to defecate in a public place would be swept away by a water cannon, together with animal and deposit, what a marvelous deterrent that would be. The Community Council is to be addressed by the Dog Poo Highheidyin-or Crap Czar, at its next meeting so here may well be a idea worth putting forward.
(The image is of a mini water cannon, child operated to minimise costs. Three of these on the Hutton main street and a handful more on the walks around the village would soon raise Hutton to the coveted title of the 2009 European Village of Curfree Cleanliness or something) Much better than the rather hackneyed Best Wee Wee Village competition-Wee Wee being not far of the mark in this context

Paxton might like to follow suit

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Comments:
Berwick is indeed a parallel universe.Many from the Merse shop in the Berwick area but the local police seem to have a cunning plot to do away with them. Leaving Tweedmouth to go in the direction of the industrial estate there is a large yet very difficult to read notice to the left oh the viaduct arch. It is at an odd angle and all letters are impossible to make out from a moving car apart from the words Northumberland Police. Does anyone know what the notice is about?
 
Northumberland Police. Please give generously ?
 
Maybe it's a test for wannabe detectives. Anyone managing to decode the notice accurately AND avoid a major RTA will then be inducted into the Northumberland Police. May the force be with you.
 
Surely fail to read the ad and have a major RTA and start as a sergeant
 
It's a friendly reminder that Northumbrian Police are "reducing crime in the Berwickshire area".
 
Well there we go. Thank you sign reader. An easier to read sign might be more sensible for the passing car driver
 
Shouldn't someone let Lothian and Borders Police know? Conversely, diven't the Northumbria lads knaa their weea aboot?
 
I Dursen't
 
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