'Sorry Sir we only have 5 filled rolls left so if you want to be sure you must order one now' said the First Class 'attendant' to the smart looking couple across the aisle. 'But I don't really want to eat my dinner now. Can I order and pay and have it after Newcastle?'.
'Well that's what I would like' said yer man but there is a full crew change at Newcastle and we have to close our books and the new crew start afresh. Food cannot be carried over. So up to you order now or risk disappointment later' As he moved on a heated conversation broke out between the slc as to the timing of dinner.
The attendant reappeared , at- seat- menu in hand. 'We will have a roll each now' said the non distaff (aka Designer stubble) half of the slc.' Sorry Sir. All the rolls are now gone-previous passenger selection' 'Well we will have to wait until Newcastle then' ' Should have mentioned it before but no catering after Newcastle as the crew chef is indisposed* and no food will therefore be on loaded' ' So what have you got?' The menu was consulted' We have one steak left-its quite big so I could split it and happy to compensate with an extra portion of chips-I think we have some left' How do you like your steak? ' 'Medium Rare' said Distaff 'Well Done' said Designer stubble.
' Once Piece of steak!Two culinary approaches.Well that is a challenge for the Chef then'
As I was leaving at Berwick the Attendant was coming carefully down the carriage-two big plates covered in chips and two portions of steak sitting proudly amongst them-at least I assumed it was steak. Difficult to be sure as they were concealed
by the rolls.
Regurgitated or returned? I will never know
* Food poisoning?
Labels: Food on National Express, National Express