Dogged Does It
Huttonian was not going to post again about golf-of little interest to the Merse readership (Patience-back in the Borders all too soon)but he is still recovering from unprecedented experiences on the Championship course of the Royal County Down (PBUI)So I record for posterity that the worst golfers I have ever had the misfortune to encounter in 50 years of golfing were not amongst the usual suspects on the Annesley Course, aka Ladies Course, aka Hen Run where hacker is King (more usually Queen) but on the hallowed turf of the NO 1 links-specifically the second hole. This couple of elderly gents, indeed elderly by contemporary standards plus a decrepit dog seemingly pulling one of their golf trolleys took 30 minutes to traverse the 150 yards from the tee to the top of the ridge where the fairway starts-see image. Old Gent # one took 21 shots (not including air shots-complete misses); Gent Two: 19 and the dog was about to play his 14th when he was rather rudely told to pick up his ball and stop wasting time (I am interpreting the body language, the actual words were lost on the wind)The playing of shots (for want of s better description) were punctuated with tut tuts, effings and blindings and in the case of the dog, with two craps.
I calculated that at 30 minutes for 150 yards this party would take 11 hours to complete the 9 hole circuit back to the club house. A full day for the 18 allowing for comfort stops and a couple of takeaways. So I went on my way, ducking and dodging past them-there was no offer to let me through
I kept an eye open for the wanderers who were approaching the third green as I drove off the 9th so there must have been a sudden burst of speed somewhere.
To be safe I reported the party to the professional shop in case a search party had to be sent out. The guy who sold the green fees recognised my description. 'They were on the Championship Course? But I sold them tickets for the Hen Run-they said it was their first time on a golf course-must have gone to the wrong tee' 'Perhaps someone should go and rescue them' I suggested' its tough out there in the vast desert caverns of the 4th and 5th; no water no food;we surely don't want their skeletons showing up in a month or so!'
'I wouldn't worry said the Assistant Pro. Its not as bad as all that. They may be complete novices but I happen to know that
their dog has played before'
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Labels: Bad golfers, Golf, Newcastle, Royal County Down