Some Like it Hot

80F in the car park at Duns Golf Club (MBUI) Unprecedented in my time and reminiscent of golfing in the Gulf. Hot work but at least it keeps the Cardiac Three of the course and huddled around the drinks fridge. Not heat stroke on top of cardiac arrest for these three wise men. But a new menace: Yuff. The juveniles, scores of them and they always seem to be just in front of Huttonian and his partner. Young, yes. Skillful, some are. Vibrant and fast? Fast? The Cardiac Three could out pace them any time. They chat, they text, they retake missed putts, they park their trolleys either on the green or the furthest side from the next tee. They have several practice swings and then change their minds about the club. They argue over their scores whilst we fume behind them. Junior members; who needs them? Grump, Grump, Grump.

Roll back the years. For Yuff read Huttonian and his three golfing friends. 54 holes on the No 2 Course of the Royal County Down (PBUI) was the norm. But one obstacle to our progress. Norn Iron's answer to the Cardiac Three: Quake, Shake and Quiver. One had lost an arm, the second had noticeable tremor'(St Vitus' Dance as it was then called)- a distinguished surgeon as it happened and the third used two clubs as a sort of walking frame. 7 hours for a round on the No 2 Course (we youngsters, juvenile members, were not allowed on the Championship Track)They picnicked in a bunker at the 9th, half way round and never, never asked us through,them even when they had lost a ball and were scouring the gorse bushes in a hopeless quest to save half a crown. To them Juveniles had no 'standing', safely to be ignored The technique was to creep up behind them, hit over their heads, run past them and play on. Naughty I know but at least unlike the local yuff we played fast and never held anyone up. And as for Q, S and S. Two died on the course and the third just after a round. And when he had finished the drink someone else had paid for. In Norn Iron there is no better way to go.

So perhaps my partners and I are Q, S and S revisited. A bit of tolerance to the aspiring Woods and Harringtons is in order. But I wish for Donald's sake they would get

a bloody move on.

(The image is of the bunker at the 15th Very similar to the one at the 9th where Q, S and S used to lunch. Same sort of shape and identical sand. So no need to use your imagination)

Labels: Duns Golf, Quake Shake and, Royal County Down, Yuff

  ¶ 5:18 PM