Musings from the Merse
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Thin Band Anyone?
A bloggee writes:
So much for the 21st century. Yet another ISP has told me the local exchange is too slow to offer broadband, so that only leaves……BT, unless my neighbour-in-the-know tells me otherwise when he rings back.. They appear to be coining it throughout rural Britain. Grrrrrr. A friend who lives a couple of miles from the exchange went onto BT broadband and they stopped charging her for it because it was so slow. However, SBC planners are having more and more tacky little hoosies built round here without the telephone infrastructure to support it. We HAVE tried to tell them but…… What can one do without losing the plot altogether and contacting the ISP?
This is all in the context about encouraging everyone to get onto broadband which is apparently "99% available" But I wonder how many of the Borderers really want to use the Internet-Broadband or no-and we get 6mobs in Duns. Hutton enjoys about 1MB which is workable for most practical purposes except you might have trouble in downloading say, 'Priscilla, Queen of the Raving, Trans Gender Fairies*'- in your life time anyhow.
Some electrician working on a problem in the Small House in Duns remarked 'Wow-Good to see someone of your age going on line' I nearly changed the wretched fuse myself, after that crack (actually intended as a genuine compliment)-but the fact is that Silver Surfers are not a common breed in these 'ere parts except perhaps amongst the Gerdian Readers.
And they are not a common breed either
And it has to be said-re the bloggee's comments that most exchanges have been upgraded in recent years. When we first moved to Hutton the Chirnside Exchange was so primitive it did not allow you to use 1471 to check on the last caller. One Pensioner was however unfazed by this -'If I missed a call and it is important for the caller to talk to me-he will ring again' The same down to earth attitude as the lady from Ayton who was asked to identify her self in the Bank of Scotland Branch;
She pulled out her pocket her handbag mirror; looked into it and said:
'That's me alright'
(* Unlikely to be available in a cimema near you)
A bloggee writes:
So much for the 21st century. Yet another ISP has told me the local exchange is too slow to offer broadband, so that only leaves……BT, unless my neighbour-in-the-know tells me otherwise when he rings back.. They appear to be coining it throughout rural Britain. Grrrrrr. A friend who lives a couple of miles from the exchange went onto BT broadband and they stopped charging her for it because it was so slow. However, SBC planners are having more and more tacky little hoosies built round here without the telephone infrastructure to support it. We HAVE tried to tell them but…… What can one do without losing the plot altogether and contacting the ISP?
This is all in the context about encouraging everyone to get onto broadband which is apparently "99% available" But I wonder how many of the Borderers really want to use the Internet-Broadband or no-and we get 6mobs in Duns. Hutton enjoys about 1MB which is workable for most practical purposes except you might have trouble in downloading say, 'Priscilla, Queen of the Raving, Trans Gender Fairies*'- in your life time anyhow.
Some electrician working on a problem in the Small House in Duns remarked 'Wow-Good to see someone of your age going on line' I nearly changed the wretched fuse myself, after that crack (actually intended as a genuine compliment)-but the fact is that Silver Surfers are not a common breed in these 'ere parts except perhaps amongst the Gerdian Readers.
And they are not a common breed either
And it has to be said-re the bloggee's comments that most exchanges have been upgraded in recent years. When we first moved to Hutton the Chirnside Exchange was so primitive it did not allow you to use 1471 to check on the last caller. One Pensioner was however unfazed by this -'If I missed a call and it is important for the caller to talk to me-he will ring again' The same down to earth attitude as the lady from Ayton who was asked to identify her self in the Bank of Scotland Branch;
She pulled out her pocket her handbag mirror; looked into it and said:
'That's me alright'
(* Unlikely to be available in a cimema near you)
Labels: Broadband in the Borders, BT, Primitive echanges
Monday, November 03, 2008
Dial 'M' for 'Mother'
For years BT have been wanting to close down a number of telephone boxes in the area-Hutton was on the list once but seems to have been reprieved after 'public uproar'-at least two people complained as did the Community Council. We never reached the stage of an official notice in the box itself giving us 42 days notice of closure but the phone had its 'Internet access' removed and was converted to 'no cash'. As I was aware of only one person using the phone in 11 years (a lost White Van driver looking for the Manse, Antrim House, Old Manse, New Manse or Former Manse-his mobile had no signal. Ha!)I doubt if many people were inconvenienced by the dumbing down
At Ellemford, which if not exactly in the middle of nowhere is at least on the periphery, there is one of those old fashioned kinds universal before the current undistinguished glass cabins It is on the 42 days notice to close and looking at the official statement of intent (click to enlarge) has been in that state of suspended animation for some years. BT claims its underused and they may be right judging from the other inside shot which shows a healthy growth of cobwebs(see it enlarged) and/or spider webs-perhaps the very phone Robert the Bruce used on his way to Bannockburn?
I suspect BT have backed off in the face of local complaints. Its a busy little country road and it actually goes somewhere, which is really more you can say about the F (class not expletive)road through Hutton. The mobile signal is not good and someone someday may need to use it in an emergency. The fact that it has not been used recently and Bruce's call may or may not have been essential is neither here
or there.
For years BT have been wanting to close down a number of telephone boxes in the area-Hutton was on the list once but seems to have been reprieved after 'public uproar'-at least two people complained as did the Community Council. We never reached the stage of an official notice in the box itself giving us 42 days notice of closure but the phone had its 'Internet access' removed and was converted to 'no cash'. As I was aware of only one person using the phone in 11 years (a lost White Van driver looking for the Manse, Antrim House, Old Manse, New Manse or Former Manse-his mobile had no signal. Ha!)I doubt if many people were inconvenienced by the dumbing down
At Ellemford, which if not exactly in the middle of nowhere is at least on the periphery, there is one of those old fashioned kinds universal before the current undistinguished glass cabins It is on the 42 days notice to close and looking at the official statement of intent (click to enlarge) has been in that state of suspended animation for some years. BT claims its underused and they may be right judging from the other inside shot which shows a healthy growth of cobwebs(see it enlarged) and/or spider webs-perhaps the very phone Robert the Bruce used on his way to Bannockburn?
I suspect BT have backed off in the face of local complaints. Its a busy little country road and it actually goes somewhere, which is really more you can say about the F (class not expletive)road through Hutton. The mobile signal is not good and someone someday may need to use it in an emergency. The fact that it has not been used recently and Bruce's call may or may not have been essential is neither here
or there.
Labels: Borders Phone boxes, BT, Ellemford, Robert the Bruce
Monday, August 25, 2008
A BeTter Way? Revisited
Bangalore has egg over its collective face I fear and bully for A Berwickshire bloggee. After 4 weeks of badgering, e-mails, filling in on line complaint forms, long distance calls from Bangalore and finally elevation of the 'issue' (BT does not have problems, only issues) to the Chief Executives office, action has been taken .Bangalore has all along insisted that my slow broadband speed was my PC's fault 'I am telling you Sir, your are using the wrong aperture. Or possibly your configuration is not tickety Boo I am sending you long and comprehensive instructions-just be following them and Robert is your uncle'. Blue in face, numb of finger, Huttonian explained that bloggee techie had done all the BT tests- twice at least and there were no inside the house problems and when he suggested that it might be an exchange problem-specifically a soft ware malfunction he was met with very polite derision: No Sir, everything in your exchange is working perfectly-now just go through this 45 page check list and all will be tickety boo. Just be leaving it to the experts.
Thanks to insider advice from the Berwickshire Bloggee techie (using back channels not back passages) the Chief Executive's office, now alerted to a real problem which is apparently not confined to TD11 kindly offered to send a technician, sorry, engineer, to inspect the outside connections, junction box, line-but no mention of the exchange or software problems. The BT guru turned up and phoned me in France to say he could not get into the house (because I was in France, presumably) and was going away until I could let him in one other day. Another expensive call from France and the CEO's office confirmed that no access was strictly necessary but said that their engineers liked to have access to double check that Johnny Customer had not got it all wrong. I mentioned a soft ware failure. CEO's office smiled (it sounded like a smile) politely and said she would be in touch. 'If necessary'
It wasn't.
30 minutes later the engineer phoned. On a whim he had looked at the exchange. Guess what? Expectant pause. A software failure. It was no longer a failure. I would get up to 8mbs-no prob. Have a Bon Journee.
Gosh I wish I had thought of that.
I will enjoy telling Bangalore
Bangalore has egg over its collective face I fear and bully for A Berwickshire bloggee. After 4 weeks of badgering, e-mails, filling in on line complaint forms, long distance calls from Bangalore and finally elevation of the 'issue' (BT does not have problems, only issues) to the Chief Executives office, action has been taken .Bangalore has all along insisted that my slow broadband speed was my PC's fault 'I am telling you Sir, your are using the wrong aperture. Or possibly your configuration is not tickety Boo I am sending you long and comprehensive instructions-just be following them and Robert is your uncle'. Blue in face, numb of finger, Huttonian explained that bloggee techie had done all the BT tests- twice at least and there were no inside the house problems and when he suggested that it might be an exchange problem-specifically a soft ware malfunction he was met with very polite derision: No Sir, everything in your exchange is working perfectly-now just go through this 45 page check list and all will be tickety boo. Just be leaving it to the experts.
Thanks to insider advice from the Berwickshire Bloggee techie (using back channels not back passages) the Chief Executive's office, now alerted to a real problem which is apparently not confined to TD11 kindly offered to send a technician, sorry, engineer, to inspect the outside connections, junction box, line-but no mention of the exchange or software problems. The BT guru turned up and phoned me in France to say he could not get into the house (because I was in France, presumably) and was going away until I could let him in one other day. Another expensive call from France and the CEO's office confirmed that no access was strictly necessary but said that their engineers liked to have access to double check that Johnny Customer had not got it all wrong. I mentioned a soft ware failure. CEO's office smiled (it sounded like a smile) politely and said she would be in touch. 'If necessary'
It wasn't.
30 minutes later the engineer phoned. On a whim he had looked at the exchange. Guess what? Expectant pause. A software failure. It was no longer a failure. I would get up to 8mbs-no prob. Have a Bon Journee.
Gosh I wish I had thought of that.
I will enjoy telling Bangalore
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
DONT TRY THIS AT HOME
There Must be a BeTter Way?
0800800152, 01914954600, 084560056156, 08003289642 0800800150
These are some of the numbers you need to telephone if you want to cancel any thing installed by BT.
Using the Home Moving Help Line Huttonian asked for his land line account to be cancelled from 21 July, his broadband to be transferred to the small house in Duns and his ISDN one to be cut off as well. No problem-its just a click of a mouse in Bangalore.
From being sent e-mailed bills for my paperless on line direct debit save the environment from the Amazon Rain Forest account I discovered:
(a) My broadband although transferred to the shid was still active in Hutton, and in my name as well as the new owner.
(b) ISDN still active although the PC had long since gone.
(c) I was being billed for both.Three months in advance.
(d) My on line saving the Rain Forest paperless, guilt-free accounts for my cancelled services were still active, billing and presumably cooing, away. I could not turn them off on line and was advised to ring a number-yes one of those above. My bank could not cancel the standing orders as there was no BT identification number to zap.
3 hours later having tried every choice on the multiple choice menu afore mentioned help lines (another oxymoron if there ever was one) I had managed to get a cancellation number for the ISDN line; a process complicated by the fact that ISDN is a business line even in a private residence used for purely domestic purposes. An ISDN for a PC which is not part of a business set up is a an unknown concept in both Newcastle (0191) or Bangalore (0800-make up the rest.)Armed with my cancellation code I went into Billing. They were not impressed-sorry can't touch a business account-and Business Billing 'But you say you are not a business Sir?. Too difficult try this 'Beyond Help number 0800...... or if that fails this barking mad one in Newcastle 0191 etc etc
I think for my sanity I must get hold of my bank and cancel every single standing order I have.
Sorry Sanctuary for Sick Donkeys-some times the innocent have to suffer to frustrate the guilty
(The image is of BT vans loaded with paperless ISDN bills ready to rush off to Amazonia for some good environmental reason-0800 800 150 appropriate option to laern more)
Labels: BT, Help Lines, Small House in Duns
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Duns Minus two
Day After Tomorrow
And no work started on extension. Stove ditto! 'Sorry we have a few missing parts' (forgot to order) but they have still put a hole in our sitting room chimney and our bedroom floor. Back on Wednesday. Bukra fii Mishmish (Apricots tomorrow) Nocturnal trip to the loo could yet be dangerous but an interesting shortcut to the ground floor.
Broadband Installed. 8mb promised by BT. We have 124bps coming through the roof and 64 going up. 'No No not an exchange fault' said yer man in Mumbai. The Wireless router is in the wrong hole. We have tried three routers in all the orifices with the same result. Oh Keep trying said Mumbai and call us again after four days.
I will
Day After Tomorrow
And no work started on extension. Stove ditto! 'Sorry we have a few missing parts' (forgot to order) but they have still put a hole in our sitting room chimney and our bedroom floor. Back on Wednesday. Bukra fii Mishmish (Apricots tomorrow) Nocturnal trip to the loo could yet be dangerous but an interesting shortcut to the ground floor.
Broadband Installed. 8mb promised by BT. We have 124bps coming through the roof and 64 going up. 'No No not an exchange fault' said yer man in Mumbai. The Wireless router is in the wrong hole. We have tried three routers in all the orifices with the same result. Oh Keep trying said Mumbai and call us again after four days.
I will
Labels: Broadband, BT, Leaving the Manse, Small House in Duns
Friday, June 20, 2008
The Phoney War
Every so often BT decide to close a number of their 'seldom used' (BT speak) rural public phone boxes and as regularly local people protest-and more often than not the box remains open. The latest proposal by BT is to close 40 of them representing, says the Berwickshire, 25% of all public phones in 'the region'. Usual arguments apply-not every one has a mobile-not everyone can anyhow always get a mobile signal-as in the Old Manse kitchen unless you are on 02.
Hutton does not appear to be on the present closure list. We had our lovely old Red Box taken away some years ago and replaced with a modern cabin (see image). It used to be -e-mail enabled but this never caught on and the enable has been removed. Being ad hoc and ad hominem as my classics master used to say it takes no coins-a nice touch for the careful Border Scots-irritating if you have no credit card and don't want just to make an emergency call; but I doubt if this is much of a real irritant for the Huttonian Body Politic. In 10 years I have seen it only used once, by White Van Man, no doubt asking for fresh instructions for the New Manse, The Manse, The Old Manse, Antrim House etc etc ad nauseam
Burnmouth-or to be more precise, Lower Burnmouth is up in arms as their old fangled Red box is for the chop. 'Phone Box is vital service at working harbour' screams the Berwickshire page 13 headline.
'Hullo! Hullo/ Is thash( hic) Fifesh (hic) Taxis? Shend a a cccab plish(hic) to Lower Burnmouth ....I am too smashed (sic) to walk back to me boat..AUuuarggh (sick) '
Good point.
Labels: Borders Phone boxes, BT, Burnmouth, vomit
Monday, June 16, 2008
Its Not our fault-literally. And Have a Nice Day
Huttonian volunteered to help our post mistress with getting a fault repaired on her BT ISDN line-it has been off and on for weeks meaning that on several occasions the pensioners have had to be turned away as the payment of their money is an on line procedure. So I went on to BT.Com to try and speed repairs up.
Bt.Com 'report a fault' informed that this was not a BT number so can't help. I confirmed from the Post Mistress that it is.
I then went on to the BT interactive chat help facility and after being first in the queue and therefore having to wait only 10 minutes had the following chat:
Sean: Hi there, please give me a moment while I review your query.
Huttonian: I have just reconfirmed that 01289 386*** is the correct number for the ISDN line and it is BT
Sean: Hi Huttonian, I am sorry for the information that you are receiving from BT.com. The only other way to track a fault is by calling 0800 800 154, this is the number for our faults department. An advisor will be able to give you an update on the fault.
Huttonian: OK Thanks but it is strange that your online help does not recognise the number
Sean: Yes that does sound strange but this happens on occasions espesially with ISDN lines, I will report this to BT.com
Sean: Is there anything esle (sic) i can help you with today?
Huttonian: No Thanks and good bye
Sean: bye bye, have a nice day
Sean has disconnected.
I went on to 0800 800 154.
Guess what? The nice automated lady told me she could not help. It was not a BT number. Go to my service provider.
And no way past that barrier.
When we had the post office we paid pensions out of a cash box and wrote everything down in a book. The cash box always opened but occasionally the PO issue biro ran out of ink. We used another one with out any advice from the interactive help chat line.
And if the phone didn't work we had a nice quiet morning.
And we generally had
a Nice Day.Thanks for offering.
(The image is not the Hutton Phone Box which is the bog standard 'new model' -this is much smarter. But may not work. And BT may have disowned it)
Labels: BT, Faults, Having a nice day, Hutton, Post Office
