Musings from the Merse
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Cooped Up
Its a great relief to lose our dependence on the 14 mile round trip to Sir Morrisons and replace it with a 14 minute return journey to the Coop via a vegetable shop, two bakeries, a delicatessen, a hardware store, an electronic goods emporium, several convenience spots, three takeaways, a brilliant Chemist, two newsagents, a large post office with several watering holes and coffee places to break the tedium, both coming and going. The Coop is not that exhaustive but it is certainly not exhausting-a three person check out queue is unusual, most people seem to just have hand baskets to pay for and alright, there are not 27 different types of Brown Sauce, but you can generally find what you need, if not entirely what you want. Lots of organic stuff and a dearth of 'customer announcements' as are the bane of Sir M's.
And no caravanners.
I was extolling the virtues of Duns shopping to a fellow incomer, but with browner knees, having moved here from Embra 15 years ago.(So he is up to the 'D' in Dinger)
'Couldn't agree less' he said. 'Shops are rubbish. Thank goodness for on line shopping. Weekly order to Tescos, bring it around, help us unpack and it is all very reasonable'
'But what can't you get in Duns that you really need?' I enquired
'You mentioned it!
27 varieties of Brown Sauce'
( Sorry no image -I tried Flickr with the following result:
"We couldn't find any results matching Duns and Co-op.
Would you like to try a search for farm, switzerland, zurich, chicken or chickens instead?"
No thanks)
AS the Arabs would say : الكبيرة للتسوق في الجمعية التعاونيه*
* (rough translation) Great marketing in the Co-operative Society-Google translation)
Its a great relief to lose our dependence on the 14 mile round trip to Sir Morrisons and replace it with a 14 minute return journey to the Coop via a vegetable shop, two bakeries, a delicatessen, a hardware store, an electronic goods emporium, several convenience spots, three takeaways, a brilliant Chemist, two newsagents, a large post office with several watering holes and coffee places to break the tedium, both coming and going. The Coop is not that exhaustive but it is certainly not exhausting-a three person check out queue is unusual, most people seem to just have hand baskets to pay for and alright, there are not 27 different types of Brown Sauce, but you can generally find what you need, if not entirely what you want. Lots of organic stuff and a dearth of 'customer announcements' as are the bane of Sir M's.
And no caravanners.
I was extolling the virtues of Duns shopping to a fellow incomer, but with browner knees, having moved here from Embra 15 years ago.(So he is up to the 'D' in Dinger)
'Couldn't agree less' he said. 'Shops are rubbish. Thank goodness for on line shopping. Weekly order to Tescos, bring it around, help us unpack and it is all very reasonable'
'But what can't you get in Duns that you really need?' I enquired
'You mentioned it!
27 varieties of Brown Sauce'
( Sorry no image -I tried Flickr with the following result:
"We couldn't find any results matching Duns and Co-op.
Would you like to try a search for farm, switzerland, zurich, chicken or chickens instead?"
No thanks)
AS the Arabs would say : الكبيرة للتسوق في الجمعية التعاونيه*
* (rough translation) Great marketing in the Co-operative Society-Google translation)
Labels: Duns, Shopping, Sir Morrison's, The Coop
Monday, September 08, 2008
The Good Life. Part the twelth
The major advantage of the move from Hutton to Duns is the dramatic decline in the pressure of the process of the daily grind-the remorseless routine of rural isolation. Gas on tap. No worries about getting the oil tank filled by a truculent driver navigating the Kirk Lane rain forest. The 13 miles round trip to Sir Morrisons and running the gauntlet of the tattooed, obese, aggressive caravanners, jamming the aisles (npi) and blocking the checkouts is a chore of the past; here a leisurely stroll to a wide range of shops. Friendly service, no queues. The broadband is fast (after a big battle with BT admittedly) the garden is small, the house easily manageable. We miss the postman and the personal mail pick up but here our letters are here by 8-30, ditto the milk-yes in bottles and the sorting office is 150 yards. We also miss the lack of light pollution but it is minimal in this quiet road (And low flying aircraft are rare-only over the town when their Tom Toms are on the blink) and with double glazing the house is snug and easily warmed up. Even the most sensitive of our visiting relis are likely to leave off their fleeces, always worn when in the Old Manse-even in August and once the wood burning stove is in action we may have to open some windows to escape the tropical temperatures.
And of course no newspaper run. No more cringing from the wrath to come as you ask a Salmond lookalike for the English Daily Mail. Rather a 2 minute walk to one of two newsagents, the Grudian thrust into your hand and the stroll back to the snug garden room for croissants and coffee-well toast and tea, actually.
For a moment I thought I was back to Sir M's this morning, when walking, Guerdienne clutching, homeward bound. A well built lady in front of me briskly propelling a child infested push chair. Broad of back, muscular hind parts, thick arms, tree-trunk legs. Her designer jacket said it all:
Koo Ga'
Built for Rugby
The major advantage of the move from Hutton to Duns is the dramatic decline in the pressure of the process of the daily grind-the remorseless routine of rural isolation. Gas on tap. No worries about getting the oil tank filled by a truculent driver navigating the Kirk Lane rain forest. The 13 miles round trip to Sir Morrisons and running the gauntlet of the tattooed, obese, aggressive caravanners, jamming the aisles (npi) and blocking the checkouts is a chore of the past; here a leisurely stroll to a wide range of shops. Friendly service, no queues. The broadband is fast (after a big battle with BT admittedly) the garden is small, the house easily manageable. We miss the postman and the personal mail pick up but here our letters are here by 8-30, ditto the milk-yes in bottles and the sorting office is 150 yards. We also miss the lack of light pollution but it is minimal in this quiet road (And low flying aircraft are rare-only over the town when their Tom Toms are on the blink) and with double glazing the house is snug and easily warmed up. Even the most sensitive of our visiting relis are likely to leave off their fleeces, always worn when in the Old Manse-even in August and once the wood burning stove is in action we may have to open some windows to escape the tropical temperatures.
And of course no newspaper run. No more cringing from the wrath to come as you ask a Salmond lookalike for the English Daily Mail. Rather a 2 minute walk to one of two newsagents, the Grudian thrust into your hand and the stroll back to the snug garden room for croissants and coffee-well toast and tea, actually.
For a moment I thought I was back to Sir M's this morning, when walking, Guerdienne clutching, homeward bound. A well built lady in front of me briskly propelling a child infested push chair. Broad of back, muscular hind parts, thick arms, tree-trunk legs. Her designer jacket said it all:
Koo Ga'
Built for Rugby
Labels: Duns, Sir Morrison's, The Old Manse
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The Fat of the Land
To day I went to Sir Morrisons (I can't believe I put in a link for Morrisons-but its just to show I can) which is unusual now that the wife does nor frequent foreign parts as much as she used to. This was to get provender and Pimms for the Old Manse's House Cooling Party, just concluded. And it was awful to see the effect of inflation on the core customer base at SM's. Everyone is even fatter than I remember from my last visit. Well not everyone but the vast (no pun intended) majority. You would have thought with the recession and belt tightening that inflation and shortage of the readies would have a deflationary affect on people's waist lines. Not a bit of it. Belt tightening there is but from the inside out; less tattoos evident as they have disappeared into folds of flesh. One enormous woman who I believe lives at 9-11 Castle Terrace staggered by, propped up by her trolley and counterbalanced by several cases of Stout (npi). 'Hi' she yelled to the person next to her (some distance away therefore)'They have let me out for the day! Great fun'
'They'?
Do Weight Watchers' lock them up normally?
(The image is of a large lady in Cracow. Slightly below average for Berwick)
Labels: Fat ladies;, Sir Morrison's
Monday, April 07, 2008
All the Wine that's fit to drink?
Huttonian has much sympathy with the letter published in last week's Berwickshire (which I have only just seen thanks to the inability to find a copy in the main Palmers Green newsagent; for goodness sake. They had Le Monde, USA today,the Dandy, The Guardian but no Berwickshire News.
As follows:
SIR, - I hope that I'm not your only reader who read last week's item on how Morrison's is celebrating April with a promotion of "all things French" with some sadness and growing anger, when just a few pages on, the headlines included "Concern as pig crisis worsens" and "Fair deal sought for farmers."
Was it an early April Fool's Day joke that they are "the only retailer to sell fresh oysters and crab that have never previously been frozen"? Surely not? When I last looked, excellent fresh local crab was available landed at Eyemouth from local fish merchants such as Collins,' whilst only a few miles away some of the best oysters in the world are available at Lindisfarne - so good they had sold before I'd even got to Kelso farmer's market!
Those of us who are privileged to live in Berwickshire are not just surrounded by stunning scenery, but are lucky enough to live surrounded by a whole host of wonderful food producers. Those lambs now appearing in the fields are not just window dressing, but a reminder that great lamb (and mutton, and beef, and pork too) is produced locally by a whole host of farmers. Whilst their produce can't always be found at the supermarket, you'll find it at the great independent butchers we are still lucky enough to have here in Duns and at Norham and Berwick. Farmers’ markets, also nearby at Berwick and Kelso - but sadly not yet in Duns - give a great introduction to local produce and its producers, whilst increasingly some innovative farmers such as Peelham and Reiver are becoming both direct suppliers as well as farmers.
Meat isn't all that is on the local menu either and a wide range of locally produced food is increasingly available. Duns now has a great greengrocers where produce is clearly labelled as "organic" or much better, as "local," whilst the friendly deli has a range of local cheeses and locally smoked fish among the chorizo and pasta that we love too.
Nearby are Stitchill's wonderful dairy products and Windsheil's organic eggs, whilst Berwickshire now has its own organic box scheme from Tweed Valley Organics.
We even have our own locally produced oil in Olefiera, just over the border Carrolls are supplying heritage varieties of potatoes to some of the country's most famous restaurants whilst locally shot game has always been in demand. On wine I though I'd be stumped until I discovered that Prentice's in Duns were stocking wine from a Berwickshire-owned vineyard (albeit in South Africa) but over in Ayton, Peelwalls are making a whole range of individual wines from each of the classic grape varieties!
If you want a true taste of France this month why not try some local produce? After all, as we still eat our own produce too rarely, the best is frequently shipped to France where they really do appreciate it. There is a lot of great local produce out there and it deserves our support when we can - just occasionally why not ask "is it local?" Bon appetit!
Yes, Sir Morrisons is notable for its reluctance to support local produce-'Central purchasing-economies of scale-value for the customer' is their defence Supporting the local community-forget it.
The writer, in his list of local produce has overlooked the virtually unknown* Hutton Wine Industry run by the viniculture wing of the Hutton Think Tank. Only a small production, 9 bottles in 2007 (not a great vintage, admittedly) but one which has aroused comment amongst the cognescenti. The Hutton Hill was described in the 'Gourmet Grocer' as 'redolent of rural aromas, warm, with a strong astringent appeal, requiring a good strong nose...memorable...slurry without its sting..a worthy companion to Haggis' The 'Australian Wine Buff' correspondent ( a Mr M.Python) with perhaps a touch of envy for an outstanding non-Oz product was less forthcoming:
'A Wine for laying down
And forgetting'
(*perhaps that why it was overlooked? Blog-ed)
The image is of the last bottle of the 2006 cru- 'Whiteadder Red': 'The Perfect Companion to a Strong Curry'-the Readers Digestion Guide to Unusual Drinks
Labels: Hutton Think Tank, Local wine, Sir Morrison's
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Basket Cases
So now the wife has seen for herself the harsh and surreal conditions of life in the Retail Complex, aka Sir Morrisons.
Picture the scene. The wife in a tearing hurry with a basket of essential life support commodities ( organic, fair traded no GM content) clutched feverishly in an anxious hand as she rushes to the basket only check out. Short queue-second in line; hah! But what is this, the sole obstacle to paying and pushing off is the guy in front with the largest Sir M Trolley* crammed to the gunwales and beyond.
'Sorry Sir' says kind but firm Check Out Lady ' Baskets only- as indicated on that prominent sign above your head'
'No problem' says the g-i-f. And he slowly but methodically empties his trolley into 5 baskets left by previous customers. Wife steaming and still behind-no way past 5 baskets and a beer belly.
G-i-f pays (cash 2p by 2p) and departs stage right. The wife gets away, eventually, with at least a couple of items now past their sale by date.
So next time I blog about Sir Morrisons she may now realise that like the biblical lilies of the field I spin not. Honest, plain, unvarnished truth with a hint of lemon. So unlike the aspiring cub reporter e-mailing his Tabloid editor from some far flung disaster area:
'Impossible to exaggerate seriousness of situation here.But I will do my best'
* Another reason for shopping in Morrisons
(The image may well be of the offending trolley)
Labels: Sir Morrison's
Friday, November 02, 2007
Forged notes discovered is a small headline on page 98 or so of the Berwickshire
A 22-YEAR-OLD woman was found to be in possession of two forged Bank of Scotland £10 notes when stopped by police at about 2am on Saturday, October 27, in Northburn Road, Eyemouth.
A report will be submitted to the procurator fiscal and police are advising businesses in the are to remain alert in case there are any more forged notes in circulation.
One wonders, does not one, what on earth possessed the Eyemouth Police to stop a 22 year old woman at 2am on a Saturday morning on the off chance that they might find forged £10 notes. Did they search her? Or Did she offer to bribe them and they noticed the forgery?
It could have course been thanks to a tip off from Fishwick Special Branch who in a recent dawn (Sunday) swoop found a number of notes issued by the Bank of Scotland. These were said to be excellent forgeries, state of the art stuff and would have gone undetected if one smart eyed sleuth had not spotted that they were for £7 each. And he only noticed this after he had paid for a couple of packs of fags at Sir Morrisons later that day with the proceeds of the raid and got some unusual currency in his change: Two
Three Pound Notes. Allegedly
Fishwick SB have issued this image of a suspect whom they believe can help them with their enquiries with regard to an unusual method of money laundering
Labels: Fishwick Special Branch, Forged currency, Sir Morrison's
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
A bloggee asked if it was not an awful chore to have to post everyday-write something (He carefully omitted to add 'interesting') Does Huttonian lie awake at night fretting about what to write about come the cold grey dreich dawn. Take today. It was a cold, grey, dreich dawn. I could write again about the Pheasants, drab and soaking gazing resentfully into the (comparatively) warm and inviting kitchen. I actually would invite them in to roost by the Raeburn but (a) they are still too timid and (b) they crap a lot. I could go on and on about selling this pile-and I suspect at present rate of progress I will have to go on and on-Blast Northern Rock and his Ditherness, The Gov of the Bank of England. There is also so much, and not much more, one can say about Sir Morrisons.All Human Life is no longer there since the caravanners have followed the swallows to winter quarters. And now that Marks and Sparks have set up shop (no pun intended) the action has anyhow moved elsewhere. Mind you the wife has yet to scrutinise their Green credentials. Are plastic bags thrust at you.; quality and quantity of wrapping, proportion of organic and local produce. So many boxes to tick. Worth a blog any day except when it is hissing down and their car park will still be full of rubber neckers from tout Berwickshire. Then of course the ever green (inappropriate pun not intended) topic of cash strapped landowners wanting to concrete over the best agricultural land north of the Border and build Mc Mansions in every nook and cranny. But on second thoughts
I will take a day off and blog about what there is to blog about, or not. Some other time perhaps.
And leave it at that.
For today anyhow.
I will take a day off and blog about what there is to blog about, or not. Some other time perhaps.
And leave it at that.
For today anyhow.
Labels: Blogging, Marks and Spencers, McMansions, Selling the Manse, Sir Morrison's
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Caravans to the left of us, caravans to the right of us-we lodge inmates are a very endangered minority and judging from the bright red Ferrari at the lodge next to ours from a different stratum of car owner. I don't know how many caravans that there are here but three hundred is a reasonable guess.
But-not spotted a tattoo or a faux gold chain nor even bulging buttocks. These are not the Morrison lot. Slim,well dressed and into eye contact and a friendly 'surprisingly nice isn't it.'
Surprising is right. It hissed down all night but cleared for the beach this morning.
Good start
Oh yes we went to Sir Morrisons to stock up on the booze, fags, Coke and chips as good caravaners should. Even swaggered down the aisles barging into other trolleys and swearing sotte voce.People looked very surprised-not how the knights of the road behave in these parts. So left tail between legs forgetting in our haste the fags, the Coke and the chips.But not the
booze. Not that disconcerted, really.
Labels: Caravanners, Sir Morrison's, St Andrews
Friday, August 10, 2007
Amongst the Caravans
Believe it or not Huttonian is joining the caravan set-almost-for the annual family holiday-this year in St Andrews. First choice of accommodation having fallen through we are taking three 'lodges' in what is basically a caravan park two and a half miles from the centre of the Old Grey Toon. Hopefully the on site shop will have stick on your self tattoos so as we can pass muster amongst the creme of Scottish Knights of the Road.
The website( http://www.craigtounmeadows.co.uk/ ) is most impressive with moving panoramic images of all parts of the park including the interiors of the static caravans and the lodges. Great news is that Sir Morrisons is just down the road within large trolley range. No doubt I will meet again the Lady of the Road I accosted in Sir M's only yesterday as she barged past me in a mad rush for the checkout with one trolley crammed full with the Super-Giant-Caravan Family Size Crisps-144 packets in one lovely plastic setting (called by the cognescenti :The Gross) and with a spare trolley equally filled with individual-two bites size-crisp packets for that Little extra during the Ads. She beat me to the checkout quite comfortably but found it was hand baskets only and turned away with an unladylike curse to crush more toes, crack more ribs in her search for the right departure gate. I later noticed her leaving, St Andrews bound, in a huge mobile home which had taken up 8 places in the parking area_four 'Mothers and Children' and four 'Disabled'slots. Sadly as we will be lodging rather than caravanning we will not be licensed to behave in a similar fashion.
I suspect that blogging may be difficult-but be patient-the saved up blog will make James Mitchenors famous epic Caravans seem positively, er,
Pedestrian
Believe it or not Huttonian is joining the caravan set-almost-for the annual family holiday-this year in St Andrews. First choice of accommodation having fallen through we are taking three 'lodges' in what is basically a caravan park two and a half miles from the centre of the Old Grey Toon. Hopefully the on site shop will have stick on your self tattoos so as we can pass muster amongst the creme of Scottish Knights of the Road.
The website( http://www.craigtounmeadows.co.uk/ ) is most impressive with moving panoramic images of all parts of the park including the interiors of the static caravans and the lodges. Great news is that Sir Morrisons is just down the road within large trolley range. No doubt I will meet again the Lady of the Road I accosted in Sir M's only yesterday as she barged past me in a mad rush for the checkout with one trolley crammed full with the Super-Giant-Caravan Family Size Crisps-144 packets in one lovely plastic setting (called by the cognescenti :The Gross) and with a spare trolley equally filled with individual-two bites size-crisp packets for that Little extra during the Ads. She beat me to the checkout quite comfortably but found it was hand baskets only and turned away with an unladylike curse to crush more toes, crack more ribs in her search for the right departure gate. I later noticed her leaving, St Andrews bound, in a huge mobile home which had taken up 8 places in the parking area_four 'Mothers and Children' and four 'Disabled'slots. Sadly as we will be lodging rather than caravanning we will not be licensed to behave in a similar fashion.
I suspect that blogging may be difficult-but be patient-the saved up blog will make James Mitchenors famous epic Caravans seem positively, er,
Pedestrian
Labels: Caravanners, Sir Morrison's, St Andrews
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Buy one-set one free*
After all that nervousness amongst the highheidyins of the Paxton House Trust the media reaction to the Descendants concert has been entirely favourable-even if media is mostly confined to that well known organ-the Berwickshire News. Story as follows (but remember, you first read it here)
Bicentenary of slave trade abolition marked
Former Paxton House owners was killed in slave uprising
CARIBBEAN CHOREOGRAPHY: Visitors performed a selection of dances throughout the
CARIBBEAN music and dance came to Paxton House on Saturday June 30 as descendants of slaves celebrated the bicentenary of the abolition of the slave trade at the former home of a slave owner.
Ninian Home of Paxton had two sugar plantations in Grenada, he became Governor of the island in 1793, but he was killed in a slave uprising in 1795.
The Paxton Trust invited members of the Descendants organisation in the Grenadian community in London to mark the bicentenary of abolition at Paxton. Descendants coordinator Margaret Noel explained that the group was encouraging young black people in Britain to understand the past and to look to the future.
She expressed pride in the contribution that Grenadian descendants are making in Britain today, including Johnson Beharry who won the Victoria Cross in Iraq and Lewis Hamilton, the new star of Formula One Racing.
Forty Descendants members, including young people, parents and teachers spent the weekend in Berwickshire, staying at Coldingham Youth Hostel, viewing documents and paintings of 18th century Grenada at Paxton, and performing caribbean dance, drama and music to celebrate the bicentenary of abolition. Paxton Trust staff and members of the Eyemouth Scouts were the hosts for the day's activities.
Lord Soley, the former MP for Ealing Acton and Shepherds Bush, who helped to organise the contact between Descendants and Paxton, congratulated the Paxton Trust on a courageous initiative to understand the history of slavery and to build a new link with the afro-caribbean community in London.
Paxton trustee and former local MP John Home Robertson said: "The abolition of the slave trade in 1807 was a turning point in history.
"I am ashamed of the fact that a member of my family once owned slaves, and I was thrilled to see young Londoners celebrating the bicentenary of abolition at Paxton and learning from a historic link in Scotland.
"There is more to learn from our archive of documents from Paxton and Grenada,- we even have an extraordinary letter from Ninian Home saying that 'a manager of a plantation should consider himself as the father of the slaves… They are human beings as well as ourselves'- obviously slavery was a complete denial of humanity."
Paxton Trust Director John Malden concluded "This has been a successful event and a very moving occasion. We thoroughly enjoyed the visit by some lively and enthusiastic young afro-caribbean Londoners, and we intend to build on this contact with the Descendants organisation".
Go to www.berwickshirenews.co.uk to comment on this story. (Huttonian suggests that you do)
So perhaps 'next time' Mr Malden et alios might spread the word more widely and share a fun event with more people.
(* An eighteenth century slogan from Sir Morrisons? Granada Store?. Dunno. Blog ed)
After all that nervousness amongst the highheidyins of the Paxton House Trust the media reaction to the Descendants concert has been entirely favourable-even if media is mostly confined to that well known organ-the Berwickshire News. Story as follows (but remember, you first read it here)
Bicentenary of slave trade abolition marked
Former Paxton House owners was killed in slave uprising
CARIBBEAN CHOREOGRAPHY: Visitors performed a selection of dances throughout the
CARIBBEAN music and dance came to Paxton House on Saturday June 30 as descendants of slaves celebrated the bicentenary of the abolition of the slave trade at the former home of a slave owner.
Ninian Home of Paxton had two sugar plantations in Grenada, he became Governor of the island in 1793, but he was killed in a slave uprising in 1795.
The Paxton Trust invited members of the Descendants organisation in the Grenadian community in London to mark the bicentenary of abolition at Paxton. Descendants coordinator Margaret Noel explained that the group was encouraging young black people in Britain to understand the past and to look to the future.
She expressed pride in the contribution that Grenadian descendants are making in Britain today, including Johnson Beharry who won the Victoria Cross in Iraq and Lewis Hamilton, the new star of Formula One Racing.
Forty Descendants members, including young people, parents and teachers spent the weekend in Berwickshire, staying at Coldingham Youth Hostel, viewing documents and paintings of 18th century Grenada at Paxton, and performing caribbean dance, drama and music to celebrate the bicentenary of abolition. Paxton Trust staff and members of the Eyemouth Scouts were the hosts for the day's activities.
Lord Soley, the former MP for Ealing Acton and Shepherds Bush, who helped to organise the contact between Descendants and Paxton, congratulated the Paxton Trust on a courageous initiative to understand the history of slavery and to build a new link with the afro-caribbean community in London.
Paxton trustee and former local MP John Home Robertson said: "The abolition of the slave trade in 1807 was a turning point in history.
"I am ashamed of the fact that a member of my family once owned slaves, and I was thrilled to see young Londoners celebrating the bicentenary of abolition at Paxton and learning from a historic link in Scotland.
"There is more to learn from our archive of documents from Paxton and Grenada,- we even have an extraordinary letter from Ninian Home saying that 'a manager of a plantation should consider himself as the father of the slaves… They are human beings as well as ourselves'- obviously slavery was a complete denial of humanity."
Paxton Trust Director John Malden concluded "This has been a successful event and a very moving occasion. We thoroughly enjoyed the visit by some lively and enthusiastic young afro-caribbean Londoners, and we intend to build on this contact with the Descendants organisation".
Go to www.berwickshirenews.co.uk to comment on this story. (Huttonian suggests that you do)
So perhaps 'next time' Mr Malden et alios might spread the word more widely and share a fun event with more people.
(* An eighteenth century slogan from Sir Morrisons? Granada Store?. Dunno. Blog ed)
Labels: Descendants, Merse, Paxton House, Sir Morrison's, Slave trade
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Vandals are at the gates.And'won't stop.
According to an article in the New Statesman, reprinted in a recent ‘The Week’ about the science of Quirkology, one demographic group ‘Van Drivers’ are more likely than any one else to ‘push boundaries and break rules’ Now, there is a glimpse of the bleeding obvious I hear you cry. But hold on-its not just van drivers but women van drivers-Cor! Stone the sparrows! (we lack surplus crows around here) A think tank in the US has shown, for example that, sub species 12 c :WVD (not too far removed from WMD, we note in parenthesis) are particularly prone to break the speed limit-96% as opposed to 86% of male VDs. And when approaching a T-junction 99% WVDs fail to stop completely-Men mind you not far behind at 94%.And if they don't they presumably drive into the back of the one WVD immediately in front who did stop. Well, one should not be too surprised: that is standard van driver behaviour and especially White Vans are, er, in the van in this respect.
But Dr Trinkaus, the author of this seminal (no pun intended) study on the distaff driver has found that WVDs, away from the road also behave badly and are more prone than any one else to cheat in the TEN TIMES OR FEWER ITEMS check outs at supermarkets. Of cheats identified stuffing their trolleys with 11 items or more or taking through two loaded with ten each, 80% were WVDs taking a break from causing multiple pileups at the nearest T-junction.
This is a report based on New York research. This side of the pond I suspect that on the one basket or ten items check outs at Sir Morrisons WVDs are well down the list and can on no way compare with HTCs-Heavily Tattooed Caravanners. But they do have gender in common-Male caravanners, generally have less tattoos and better manners. The wimps.
And as for T-junctions-me, I’d prefer to face off a WVD than a HTC in charge of her Kommer Highwaywoman at any time-indicating right, turning left and dumping a Big Mac carton at the same time. As for coming to a complete stop?
Don’t be so silly.
The blog will be braving white vans tomorrow on a trip to southern (well north Midland) parts. Normal service Sunday.
If we are spared.
According to an article in the New Statesman, reprinted in a recent ‘The Week’ about the science of Quirkology, one demographic group ‘Van Drivers’ are more likely than any one else to ‘push boundaries and break rules’ Now, there is a glimpse of the bleeding obvious I hear you cry. But hold on-its not just van drivers but women van drivers-Cor! Stone the sparrows! (we lack surplus crows around here) A think tank in the US has shown, for example that, sub species 12 c :WVD (not too far removed from WMD, we note in parenthesis) are particularly prone to break the speed limit-96% as opposed to 86% of male VDs. And when approaching a T-junction 99% WVDs fail to stop completely-Men mind you not far behind at 94%.And if they don't they presumably drive into the back of the one WVD immediately in front who did stop. Well, one should not be too surprised: that is standard van driver behaviour and especially White Vans are, er, in the van in this respect.
But Dr Trinkaus, the author of this seminal (no pun intended) study on the distaff driver has found that WVDs, away from the road also behave badly and are more prone than any one else to cheat in the TEN TIMES OR FEWER ITEMS check outs at supermarkets. Of cheats identified stuffing their trolleys with 11 items or more or taking through two loaded with ten each, 80% were WVDs taking a break from causing multiple pileups at the nearest T-junction.
This is a report based on New York research. This side of the pond I suspect that on the one basket or ten items check outs at Sir Morrisons WVDs are well down the list and can on no way compare with HTCs-Heavily Tattooed Caravanners. But they do have gender in common-Male caravanners, generally have less tattoos and better manners. The wimps.
And as for T-junctions-me, I’d prefer to face off a WVD than a HTC in charge of her Kommer Highwaywoman at any time-indicating right, turning left and dumping a Big Mac carton at the same time. As for coming to a complete stop?
Don’t be so silly.
The blog will be braving white vans tomorrow on a trip to southern (well north Midland) parts. Normal service Sunday.
If we are spared.
Labels: Sir Morrison's, White Van Drivers, Women Van Drivers
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Another Basket Case
Picture the scene. Easter Saturday. Sir Morrison's heaving. Huttonian doing some last minute shopping for the 110 candles party. No pound coin. Could not get a trolley so made do with two baskets. Both heavily laden-besides the 110 candles. 7th in queue for the basket checkout(Have the checkout personnel on holiday with their caravans so too few open) Women behind me ' Hey you have two baskets. You should not be in this line' I point to the notice, wordlessly. Man behind the woman behind me: ' Yes. Look at the notice.Its you who is in the wrong queue. You only have one basket. The notice says 'baskets'That's plural!
I really wish I has said that
Picture the scene. Easter Saturday. Sir Morrison's heaving. Huttonian doing some last minute shopping for the 110 candles party. No pound coin. Could not get a trolley so made do with two baskets. Both heavily laden-besides the 110 candles. 7th in queue for the basket checkout(Have the checkout personnel on holiday with their caravans so too few open) Women behind me ' Hey you have two baskets. You should not be in this line' I point to the notice, wordlessly. Man behind the woman behind me: ' Yes. Look at the notice.Its you who is in the wrong queue. You only have one basket. The notice says 'baskets'That's plural!
I really wish I has said that
Labels: baskets, Sir Morrison's
