Virgin on the ridiculous
"If you look out of the window you will see that the next station is Penrith. Otherwise keep your eyes shut. If leaving the train at Penrith please do so with your eyes open otherwise you may fall down the gap"
Said the Vigin Train Guard on the Lancaster -Edinburgh 'cross country' 9.57 yesterday.
and approaching Carlisle'
Next station Carlisle: 'If you don't want to go to Scotland, get off. It's your last chance'
And finally as we pulled into Embra Waverley Street:
'That's it Folks. Out you get, smartish, otherwise you'll be lost with the Christmas Mail.'
Good knockabout comedy if a bit wearisome for some of those fellow passengers nursing hangovers after wild nights out in the City of Lancaster. But a great improvement on the badly read, nasally intoned, GNER mumbled announcements which are the hall mark of that crumbling institution:
'Berwick is your next station stop. Take care when alighting from the train that you have all your personal possessions, none of your fellow passewngers' and that your wife does not fall through the gap between the train and the platform in which case any inconvenience is regretted'
Or that wonderful call to inaction:
' Attention Train Crew Disabled Passenger alarm activated'
In this regard National Express can only be better.
Labels: GNER, National Express, Virgin Trains