Gales etc



The misery continues. More lethal ice this morning and our fence shared with our neighbour up near the gate blown down in the gale sent by the BBC terror site three days ago. Christmas won't be much fun if the weather continues like this.

I am now a fan of the BBC quiz site-Eggheads-6pm each weekday. Prize money of £1,000 which rolls over every time the Eggheads win which is most of the time. The teams sent against them are pretty mediocre but the eggheads have lost twikce this week thus keeping the prize money low

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Eggheads

  ¶ 7:41 PM (2) comments

  Off Line on Line

Where Virgin Cross country just does not compete with National Express is its inability to provide a blog facility in the form of an Internet connection. Nat Ex is slow enough-my old dial up ISDN line in Hutton seemed faster but at least you can answer one e-mail, write another and the first para of a post between Ber Wick and Embra. The trouble is that the Virgin 1121 to Embra is quite close in time to the 1141 National Express and I had meant to take the latter but I had mistaken the time. A station announcement said something about the train now approaching platform Two so I dashed out of the Waiting Room-the train roared past whisking away the Sports Section of the Grudian which I had retrieved from the waste basket in the Loo. As it dwindled into the distance the Deputy Assistant Operational Train Co-coordinator (Porter in old money) said with some satisfaction 'That train does not stop here' and retreated back into his Office. Job done. I then got onto the next train which did stop and hence the no Internet connection.

I went up to Embra with some misgivings hopeful that the Terrorists in the Blether Centre had lost interest in southern Scotland and were concentrating their efforts on the WINTER STORM due to lay waste Middle England later today.

'Stay Tuned to our TV bulletins' they urged

'Especially during power disruptions'

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, National Express, Virgin Trains

  ¶ 3:55 PM (0) comments

 





Snow Eventing. Duns Dings 'A

What the Terror Striking Service of the BBC (Blether Centre) has been calling a 'significant snow event' for England and Wales has reached Duns (Scotland)and frustrated plans for Phase One of the garden at the Small House in Duns. Emulating Country Strife the Wife was hoping to have a crack at the veggie plot having disposed of the remains of the prolific Sprouts harvest. No chance of that until the event has taken place, medals distributed and we can draw a line in the slush and move on.

You may remember the Two Ronnies Headline :

'News of Panic Buying in Scotland. There is none'

Yer man in Joe's claimed on Saturday that so grim were the SEVERE WEATHER WARNINGS that he had noticed twitchy if not outright panic purchasing. Candles, matches, kindling wood, stiff bristled yard brushes and a run on the cash machines as if the Royal Bank of Scotland's liquid assets were to freeze overnight and the replenishment Securicor species wagons could not reach Duns on Monday. The wife in the spirit of all this has laid in a calor gas camping stove to ride out the power cuts and we managed to get one of the last bags of seasoned hardwood from Pearsons which had been well panic bought over the weekend judging from the state of its timber section

The images are taken some hours apart. As of early evening the BBC Terrorists are predicting an Olympic Style snow event. And the warning has been upgraded to

EXTREME

This is apparently more serious than SEVERE . One word left in the eventing vocab:

DIRE

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Panic buying, Weather warnings. Snow

  ¶ 11:29 AM (4) comments

 
Dr Foster avoided Gloucester

Huttonian was hoping to be heading south this morning but was put off by the horrific weather conditions promised by the BBC Blether Centre. We just did not fancy a 650 mile round trip (crammed into 48 hours) on water logged motorway with the week end loonies desperate to get away from the big cities en route driving like Toad. As part of our proposed trip was to be a mass picnic I think we have made the right decision.Mind you according to the usually reliable met check Duns is to be the wettest place in the UK with not much short of 3" rain crammed into tomorrow.See the grisly prophecy here. Conditions around Oxford are slightly less wet but it is getting there and back which bothered us-call me wet (npi) if you like. A pity as I am a patron of the highly successful African-Zambian-Charity Cecily's Fund and the picnic was to celebrate its tenth anniversary-as described here

As for Hutton. No doubt dry and sunny as per usual.

Anyhow our non departure gave me the chance to argue with Scottish Power about a bill received this morning for electricity consumed at the Old Manse. After 20 minutes of classical music and 12 buttons I explained to a genuine Scottish Lass (unless she was a Bangalorian with elocution training) that we had moved out of Hutton on 21 July and closed our account then. A long sigh:

'Oh Dear. We seem to have cocked up bigtime'

(The image is of Dinger type rain through a glass dimly. No windscreen wipers needed, thankfully)

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Duns, Hissing down, Scottish Power

  ¶ 12:46 PM (0) comments

 
Les Vacances sont sur nous

We had 20mm of rain in about 30 minutes this morning and the area on the BBC Weather Warning Map dedicated to Scottish Borders Really Bad Weather; Venture Out at your Peril and don't bring your car was bright red. Disruption!

Then the workmen arrived to carry on the extension exercise and the rain stopped. The BBC map turned its normal shade of green and the terror stricken service-as the Goons used to call it-has transfered the warnings to the south with Severe Gales.

Blogging may soon be thin on the ground. Nothing to do with the suddenly clement weather but because, come Friday, we are off to Brittany, La France for a short holiday en famille Although the BBC is not good at forrin weather it agrees with Meteo that the Borders will remain slightly warmer than Beg-Meil, Fousenant where we are taking a cottage pour la semaine prochaine. The owner, English ex pat has told us that the village has an internet connection a sort of spot chaud I assume but as we are 2 miles from the village I doubt if we will get connected. Worry not I will store some digital images of the grand children, the rocky beach, the entente cordiale and the empties and upload them on return to Duns.

If we are spared of course.

And its a long trail awinding:-car to Plymouth, Ferry to Roscoff and a two hour midnight dash to Beg Meil with TomTom in charge.

(The caption on this flickr image-thanks christiwild-is Brittany Coast in Winter. I suspect, apt)

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Brittany

  ¶ 2:05 PM (1) comments

  Paradise Postponed. Again


Never mock the boys in the BBC Blether Centre. AS a revenge for past slights, real or imaginary, they decided that 'North East England'(including Hutton) was the target for the Easter Weekend. And revenge is a dish eaten very very cold In a space of three minutes this early am we had huge hail stones, hissing rain, bright sunshine and blizzard snow-not together-separately. And throughout relentless northerly winds making a snug 2C 'feel like' (as the bs in the bbcbc put it) -15.

A casualty of today's Global Freezing is the long planned expedition to rediscover Fishwick Kirk which allegedly exists somewhere between down town Fishwick and the Scottish bank of the Tweed. Only accessible when the grass and nettles are low and the bull locked away elsewhere. But to day with more blizzards on the way, the air full of hurtling branches and frequent outbreaks of blinding sun forecast thus invalidating articles 23 -56 of the Saga Insurance small print:

Forget it.

(The image is of the Tweed taken in warmer days from not far from Fishwick Kirk, allegedly-thankyou Old Grey Wolf of Flickr fame)

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Blizzards, Fishwick Kirk

  ¶ 10:40 AM (6) comments

  Wrong sort of Rail company on track. Again


I am glad to be excused lecturing at Embra today as the train companies have gone into a state of collective confusion, if not panic, over the terrible storms issued by the BBC Blether people. Not all companies to be fair, but locally, National Express rival even the cheese eating surrender monkeys: two of their Trains cancelled :'High Winds'. One from Glasgow and one from Edinburgh. Yet somehow the Inverness service, on the same track from Embra, exposed to the same force 22 winds is on time! And the Cross Country (Virgin) from Aberdeen, ditto, ditto, is 3 minutes early. From the website: Here is the evidence http://www.livedepartureboards.co.uk/ldb/sumarr.aspx?T=BWK

ORIGIN TIMETABLE EXPECTED OPERATOR TRAIN

Glasgow Central 11:41 Cancelled National Express East Coast
Aberdeen 11:49 11:46 CrossCountry
Inverness 11:52 On time National Express East Coast
London Kings Cross 12:08 12:10 National Express East Coast
Edinburgh 12:39 Cancelled National Express East Coast

Outside the window gentle Hutton Zephyrs warm the pre-Spring chill

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, National Express, Stormy weather, Virgin Trains

  ¶ 10:52 AM (1) comments

 
The End is 40% nigh


The Blether Centre, run rather like an old fashioned Bookie, is laying odds, or rather percentages, as to the chances of being swept away by tonight and tomorrow's stormy weather:
As follows:
70% London & South East England
70% Wales
70% South West England
70% West Midlands
40% East of England
40% North West England
40% Northern Ireland
40% Yorkshire & Humber
40% East Midlands
40% SW Scotland, Lothian & Borders
20% Strathclyde
20% North East England


To quote from the choicer bits of the blurb:

"an intense low pressure system to move east across the UK during Monday, bringing severe gales and potentially damaging gusts across some areas:the early hours of Monday severe gales, an additional swathe of westerly severe gales to follow later on Monday into the early hours of Tuesday. Gusts of 60 to 70 mph , a possibility of 80 mph gusts over exposed coasts and hills. . Disruption could occur to transport, including the No 32 Berwick to Hutton bus, and power supplies- damage to buildings. ... Doom, Gloom, Emigration advised etc etc"

Note Lothian and the Borders-40% certainty of destruction but NE England including large chunks of TD15 only 20%. Should we book in at Canty's Brig B&B (just in North East England) for a threat lessened night or nip up to Strathclyde? The small house in Duns is a less high profile target than the Old Manse but it is deeper into Zone Red. Will I get to Embra for my pontifications tomorrow or will National Express be derailed metaphorically and literally-wrong kind of debris on track. ? 'The next station stop has been swept away. So we won't. Any inconvenience etc'

I may have to opt for a sickie

(The image is from Hutton Think Tank archives. Title labels have often got muddled so I cannot vouch for 'Storm over Fishwick')

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Storm

  ¶ 11:19 AM (1) comments

 
Bearware Bad Wother

The BBC Blether Centre is mostly into Weather Warnings these days-wind, rain, flood, snow-anything to cover their backs against complaints of being caught with their pants down like Mr Fish in the Great Non-Hurricane of '87. They are even inventing their own adjectives to suit the weather. Ceefax P.405 had a long blurb on the dangers of going to Bute and Argyll ending with the very ominous caution:' Driving conditions will be harazrdous

I wasn't actually planning a trip to either Bute or Argyll today but if I was, I would postpone it. Dangerous is bad enough, hazardous is awful but harazrdous is mind bogglingly catastrophic.

I think I'll just go to Berwick. Weather is to be merely kolid with the Er casionall shar.

I'll risk that

NB the image is of harazrdous weather approaching Argyll taken by a concerned Butian

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Merse, weather

  ¶ 10:03 AM (0) comments

 
WEATHER WARNING

We are as obsessed with the (wonderful) weather in the Merse as the next man-our occasional garden help, a gnarled (youngish) countryman cannot introduce any new topic without a discourse on the weather, nor abandon an old one for that matter. But our devotion to meteorology and the other black arts is ignored by the pundits at the BBC Blether Centre who neither know where the Borders are nor care. We get lumped in with 'Scotland' or 'Northern England' and by the southhron- centric the presenters on the Today Programme as that huge area of Anglia Deserta which they vaguely believe exists beyond Hampstead. 'Here be Bumpkins'

So the advent of the on-line weather map is a great boon and we can find ourselves on the larger scale ones. An example is above from Met Check and once you have got over the vivid, lurid, at times frightening, colours you are reassured to know, that weatherly speaking, we are part of the greater scheme of things-and have our own delicious, albeit, rarely delicate, shading and are regarded by that great crayon in the sky as equal value as say, the Home Counties where Mr Humphries friends garage their Chelsea Tractors and moan about congestion charges impeding their access to St James Clubland.

Is Met Check Accurate? Is the Pope an Agnostic?* You can put in your post code and get your own forecast covering the whole region from the Old Manse to the former Primary School. According to the prognostication for today (given in three hourly chunks) it is about to snow on higher ground (Village Hall roof?) and we now have 37mph winds. Nearly right. There is a warm drizzle and a dead calm. Daringly I inserted another post code-our cottage in Norn Iron; precisely (wrong word) the same forecast. Although, to be fair, the wind had allegedly eased a notch. I called a friend there and asked about the snow-he said that once the blue sky had cleared there might be a chance of it. I tried Llandudno. Same difference.

I suppose they may be right somewhere

Horrors I may have to go back to the BBC

*A meaningless aside, presumably. Blog-ed

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Merse, Met Check, Scottish Borders

  ¶ 11:27 AM (2) comments

 
The global warming/climate change advisory unit attached too the Hutton Think Tank having seen the Betjeman Plaque with an example of his verse-see image have suggested that 'carbon' be substituted for 'exultant' and that readers be reminded of the importance of conserving fish stocks in the huge consoling sea There are limits to nature's bounty. Also we are reminded that the BBC Weather Centre cannot be held responsible for any references to possible gale damage referred to in Sir John's poetry. Meteorology although more technically advanced than in his day (Seaweed and Red Sky in the Morning) is not yet 100 reliable for insurance or other legal purposes.

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Betjeman, Hutton Think Tank

  ¶ 1:30 PM (0) comments

 
Surge Horror. Hutton safe*.

When its not the BBC Blether Centre terrifying the living daylights out of us with Severe Weather Warnings-maps covered in blazing red promising disruption and carnage on the roads should you dare to step outside, its the Environment Agency, borrowing the language of George W Bush predicting a massive 'surge' not in Baghdad but in our own dear North Sea. Huge walls of water varying from 18 inches above normal (Junior Agency Spokesman, Paisley jersey and dirty sneakers)) to 10 feet (very senior EA guy with expensive mac and brown wellies) roaring down the coast devouring the unwary and wiping out East Anglia as winds roared and tides rose to heights not seen since the Coronation. Never mind East Anglia and the other bits that stick out the whole East Coast was threatened (surprisingly no mention of Lindisfarne,perhaps that was evacuated or sunk earlier) No mention of Hutton either. We are only 6 miles from the north sea and vulnerable to flooding in the Whiteadder gorge (only a mere 100 feet below the centre of the village) but no doubt SEPA made sure that the Whiteadder Dam had a couple of extra barriers in place so some of us could sleep with easy consciences. Not all of us possibly as Hutton Think Tank aided by Fishwick Special Branch personnel had Plan C : Evacuation Code Word Reassurance in operation whereby The Trauma Team went around the community at 2am, knocking on doors to tell people

to stay where they were (Op. Noah's Arc Revised Two-on hold)


Only a handful of casualties have been reported as result of this exercise. And a bit like East Anglia, Hutton is

still there. (When I last checked)


People in Kent however are advised to remain vigilant.


* So far


(The image is a computer generated mock up of Hutton Main street following a failure in the Whiteadder Barrier)

Labels: BBC Blether Centre, Environmental Agency, Fishwick Special Branch, Hutton Think Tank, Surge

  ¶ 9:54 AM (0) comments